Verbal diarrhoea

In about 40 minutes, Jack Straw the Foreign Secretary will speak to the Commons and answer questions about the latest allegations of dishonesty over the legal advice prior to the invasion of Iraq.

To save you the time and bother of actually listening to the horrid little man, this is what he’ll say…

Everything that you read in newspapers which is critical of Tony Bliar, the government and the invasion of Iraq is a lie.

Everything said by any member of the government about Iraq is true, has always been true and will always be true. We are always right and have never been wrong.

The Attorney General actually advised us that it would be illegal not to invade Iraq. The people of Iraq wanted it, oh baby they wanted it bad. The invasion and occupation, sorry liberation, have been a complete success.

War is peace. Freedom is Slavery. Ignorance is Strength. Phylos is a thought criminal. He will be re-educated.

Vote new New Labour. Whiter than white, or your money back.