Culture of Life

Terri Schiavo has died. It is always sad when a life is extinguished, but it is particularly sad in this case when the people who should have been with her at the end, the people who should have loved her the most, namely her husband and her parents, instead spent her final days in an ugly legal battle. That the media, politicians and church groups leapt on the bandwagon to push their own agendas only served to further demean her final days.

I reserve my deepest, most venomous contempt for President George W Bush. Soon after Terri’s death he said that all those involved in the campaign to keep her alive should

"continue to work to build a culture of life where all Americans are welcomed and valued and protected, especially those who live at the mercy of others".

A culture of life? What does George W Bush know about a ‘culture of life’? This is a man who while Governor of Texas executed 152 people including 4 children. He granted clemency only once, in the case of Henry Lee Lucas a man who happily confessed to killing 81 women. Maybe George felt kinship with a fellow serial killer. Bush also boasted that he never spent more than 10 minutes on any clemency appeal.

Culture of life? When he wasn't executing people, in 1999 Bush signed legislation in Texas giving hospitals the right to remove feeding tubes if relatives are unable to pay for continued treatment, regardless of the family's wishes.

Culture of life? This is a man who presides over a nation in which (on average) 11,000 people die from firearms each year, yet he refuses to introduce gun controls.

Culture of life? In Iraq, 1,533 US servicemen and women have died thanks to his invasion. The US authorities do not keep records of civilian deaths, maybe because they’d be to embarrassed if it were revealed they are killing Iraqi civilians more effectively than Saddam.

Culture of life? In 2004 the infant mortality rate rose in the US for the first time since 1958.

Culture of life? Poverty rates in the US have increased in every year of Bush’s presidency. 22% of under 18s now live in poverty. Every day 27 American children die because of poverty, that’s 189 a week, 9,855 a year. Where is the Christian outrage? Where are the demonstrations, the prayer meetings, the appeals to Congress? Where is the media campaign, where are the tears of Sean Hannity or Ann Coulter?

If there is a heaven, I hope Terri is there now enjoying some peace. If there is a hell, I know George W Bush will one day be there, where he will have an eternity to think about his hypocrisy and those who died on his watch.

Does Bliar have a cunning plan?

Here’s a strange contradiction which shows in perfect relief the difference between the US and UK government's attitude when it comes to the Freedom of Information Act (FoI).

Yesterday, the American Civil Liberties Union obtained a memo written in September 2003 by General Ricardo Sanchez which outlined what he viewed to be acceptable interrogation techniques for use in Iraqi prisons. Twelve of the twenty nine methods went beyond the official US army manual and also seem to breech the Geneva Convention. The memo has the potential to be hugely damaging to both the military and the government, yet the Pentagon released it because it had an obligation to do so.

Contrast that with Tony Bliar’s continuing refusal to release the Attorney General’s legal advice given prior to the invasion. This decision is currently being reviewed but does anyone seriously think the advice will be released in its entirety? Thought not. The funny thing is, and I’ve stated this before, that the legal advice will actually help Tony if it is as clear and unambiguous as we’re led to believe. Channel 4 News, The Independent and all the other doubting Tommys will have to shut up and apologise for doubting the word of our wise PM. So why the reticence?

I’m beginning to suspect it may be part of a larger plan. There seems little doubt that a General Election will be called on Monday or Tuesday of next week. Imagine if, in the middle of the campaign with things going badly, with trust and honesty becoming a major issue, the legal advice were suddenly published and it did indeed prove that Bliar was Blair, that there was no deception? The campaign changes course. Blair begins to set the agenda again. (Bush pulled a similar stunt with the sudden appearance of a ‘Bin Laden’ video when things were going badly for him.) It would throw the anti Tony brigade onto the defensive. Those apologies would have to be made. Tony Blair looks whiter than white, a veritable beacon of truth and honesty. He’s re-elected and all is well. Britain becomes an endless summer of love and happiness. I’m declared a dangerous prophet and persecuted. It might just happen.

Sorry George

I need to do two things today. The first is to thank my great mate MZA for opening my eyes to the realities of global politics and the second is to apologise to America in general and Mr Bush in particular.

The gang have been chatting about Iraq again today, and I mentioned the latest UN report which has found that malnutrition rates amongst children have doubled since the country was liberated two years ago. Saddam kept 4% of under fives on the point of starvation but under the kind and benevolent US backed administration this is now 8%.

I was pretty outraged but MZA has pointed out the reason for the increase and hence my apology to Mr Bush.

What I was missing in my dopey liberal fury, was that Iraq is being be rebuilt in the image of the unimpeachable, perfect democracy that is the United Sates of America. The child poverty rate in the US (according the UN) is about 22%. You can see that there is still some way to go, but with George Bush’s hand firmly up the @rse of the Iraqi puppet government, I’m sure we will see great leaps forward.

So sorry America. Sorry Mr Bush. MZA you are a model citizen of the world. And I’m a liberal waster.

Nil - Nil

At half time.

Against Azerbaijan.

Is this a joke?

Frasmotic pericombobulations

Nice article on the BBC celebrating the 250th anniversary of Samuel Johnson’s Dictionary of the English Language.

The A-Z of Samuel Johnson.

Blackadder fans will be pleased to see that S is for Sausage.

Soul food

I see the Pope has been given Terri Schiavo’s feeding tube.




Boy, am I going straight to hell for that.

This is quite a thought provoking piece on the whole sorry episode.

Schiavo's advocates contradict themselves

Illogical

Staying on the sci-fi theme that has pervaded for the last few days, look what you can but on Ebay!

A pair of the original prosthetic Vulcan ears worn by Leonard Nimoy during the first season of Star Trek.

Bit pricey at $2,500 though.

Ebay link is now dead - it must have swept through the blogosphere like flu. Ebay don't like too many hits on any auction I believe.

So, to keep the geek quota up have a look at this beauty. A blog written in Klingon. At least I think it's Klingon. I'm not a particularly cunning linguist.

Stupid Cnuts

When Bush comes to the end of this term and can no longer be in charge of the Republican Party or president, can I suggest a replacement? What about King Canute?

The reason? This story from Florida. Republicans there have passed a law which will give students the right to sue their professors for teaching ideas that conflict with their beliefs. I have no doubt that the first people to use it will be Christians objecting to evolution being taught as fact.

Isn’t the whole point of an education that you are made aware of all sides to any story, given access to conflicting and contradictory theories so that you can then make up your own mind based on the available evidence? What do the religious right have to fear from the teaching of evolution? Are their own ‘intelligent design’ theories so weak that anything contrary to them must be banned? This is a dangerous move. Today evolution, tomorrow – what? Stifling debate, any debate is not the way.

Why Pamper Life's Complexities?

I was only talking about The Smiths with my friend Claire an hour or so ago, and it seems that they are going to get the respect and recognition they so obviously deserve.

Iconic 80s band The Smiths are to be studied by some of the world's leading academics during a special conference.

I was just the right age to be a Smiths fan in the 80s, late teens/early twenties I hated the new romance, electro-pop, shallow tedious music of the day, none of it spoke to me, none of it said anything really. Then along came The Smiths; they were passionate musicians, they wrote songs which spoke to a generation about the realities of life, the bad times and the good. I loved them then and I love them still. Quite what an academic conference will add I'm not sure, but if it leads to one or two new fans it will be no bad thing.

Dalek attack

Another one from the "you couldn't make it up file'.

ARMED police sprang into action after spotting A DALEK outside Parliament.

Worried the tin-plated terror was about to 'Exterminate' the Government, they quickly trained their machine guns on the invader. But the man behind the suit - Dr Who fan Ken Meikle, 46 - was able to convince them his Dalek's cannon fired nothing more deadly than water. After delivering a stern ticking off, the officers escorted the lifesize fibreglass replica safely away from Westminster.

Ken, of Barrhead, Renfrewshire, was in London filming a promotional video for a stage version of cult classic Dr Who. He has spent thousands of pounds creating Scotland's only fully motorised Dalek, which has a top speed of 5mph. The Dalek even features a digital voice box which sounds exactly like the original robots, Dr Who's arch enemies in the classic show. Ken said: 'We had spent the whole morning filming in London and brought the place to a standstill. 'Cars were grinding to a halt in disbelief when they saw a Dalek trundling over Tower Bridge. 'And we were mobbed by Japanese tourists desperate for photos.

'But within seconds of the Dalek arriving outside Parliament, armed police officers came running up. 'It's fair to say they were not amused at being invaded by a time-travelling robot. 'They asked us what the hell we were doing, and then marched us as far away from Parliament as they could.

'I can laugh about it now, but it was pretty scary at the time.

'It's not the first time a Dalek has been foiled by the occupants of a London police box... and I suspect it won't be the last.' Ken, a professional musician, has been Dalek daft since he was five, when he saw the Dr Who and the Daleks movie in the cinema where his mum worked. He has spent the last 18 months building the 13-stone robot, which he has named Jovie. It is one of three full-size Daleks who have invaded Ken's living room, along with a dozen smaller models. He built them for brother Gary, 36, who has Down's Syndrome, and hopes to use them to raise money for charity. Ken joked: 'My partner Mary is probably the only woman in the world who would tolerate sharing her home with three Daleks. 'They are quite difficult to operate, and the huge dents in our living room wall are proof you should never get behind the controls of a Dalek with a drink in you.' Ken is delighted Dr Who is returning to TV screens, with Christopher Eccleston in the title role. He said: 'I can't wait for the new series but unfortunately the Daleks don't put in an appearance until episode six.'

A Metropolitan Police spokesman said he could not comment on matters of Parliamentary security.

Dr Who

So, what did we all think?

I loved it!!! It was tip top. Chris Ecclestone is going to be a great Doctor, Billie is lovely, it was funny, tense, the effects were great but retained that ‘knocked up in the shed’ feel so crucial to Dr Who baddies. I’m still grinning like a kid. Good work BBC peoples, it was worth the wait.

I’m (almost) speechless

Have a read of this and see if you can remain calm.

FBI agents have arrested a man in North Carolina on suspicion of soliciting offers over the internet to kill Mr Schiavo and the judge in the case.

He is accused of offering $250,000 for the killing of Mr Schiavo and another $50,000 for the judge.

What sort of a “pro lifer” offers money to have a guy executed? Probably the same sort of “pro lifer” who thinks it OK to shoot at doctors who perform abortions.

Isn’t this just typical of your right wing Christian moraliser? Their minds are so full of bigotry and their eyes so inflamed with hatred, that they cannot see the hypocrisy of their actions. The rest of us see right through it though and realise that their arguments are instantly invalidated by their actions.

You sold what to who?

If I were to tell you that there was an Islamic country led by a military general who overthrew the democratically elected government; and that this country had developed nuclear weapons despite many of its people living in abject poverty, and that the same country admitted to buying many of its nuclear secrets from North Korea and Libya; and that this country had recently launched conventional attacks on its neighbour over a disputed territory, you may think that George Bush would have his warmongering eyes on them. Or at least that he’d be issuing strong threats that the country had better stay in line. But, and it’s the darnedest thing, he’s actually decided to sell Pakistan a load of F-16s.

You make sense of it. I can’t.

Why?

Why do I leave the house on bank holiday? I do it every time and the result is rarely good. This morning after unclogging and defluffing my mouse for about the fifth time this week I decided that an optical mouse (or wireless pointing device as it’s described on the box) was a worthy investment. I should have ordered one from Amazon from the comfort of my living room. Take my pathological hatred of crowds, add my dislike of people who dawdle aimlessly, sprinkle on a layer of small children running around free, bake on a warm bank holiday morning and you have the perfect recipe for stress and fury.

It’s a while since I’ve been into Windsor, and I’d forgotten just what a sh1thole it is. The Castle is great, beautiful and being a local I get in for free. I may not like the monarchy much but they have some lovely stuff - the Queen’s Canalettos are worth the trip alone. Apart from that there are only shops selling overpriced trinkets and assorted crap to tourists who seem to leave whatever sense of taste they have at home; “Oh look Johnny, a British bobby made out of fudge, Aunty Maude will just love that.” There are no shops in Windsor selling anything useful, so I just walked up and down the main drag once and headed back to the car. The only consolation is that the Christians who had set up a stall in the centre of town with their banners and flags and proselytising pamphlets of fairy stories were packing up. Sadly they were replaced by a bloke playing the pan pipes over a ‘wall of sound’ PA system. If there’s one thing I hate more that Christians it’s pans pipes and wishy-washy ‘world music’.

The alternative to Windsor was a drive down the A4 to the PC World/Dixons complex just outside Slough. The A4 between Slough and Maidenhead has a set of traffic lights about every 150 yards and the traffic control system can only have been designed by a fool. Huge queues build up in the lightest of traffic. It’s dreadful, but it isn’t quite Slough so I was blessed with a small mercy. Anyway, long story short I have a new optical wireless pointing device and it’s a bright, socialist red. I’ve had a cigarette and a cup of tea and am as calm as a mountain stream.

But I’m never leaving the flat again.

Zzzzzzzzzz

Superstar CELINE DION has hit out at audiences at her Las Vegas shows - insisting they are not 'real fans' and often fall asleep while she sings.

The Canadian is contracted to perform 200 shows a year at Sin City's Caesar's Palace, but she admits she is disillusioned by the experience of performing to jet-lagged gamblers.

Yeah that's right Celine, they're all 'jet lagged'. It's nothing to do with your tedious performances, as your heart goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on

Finger Lickin' Good

Do your own jokes then.
I don't care.

Wonder Woman

Ain’t It Cool recently reported that Buffy creator Joss Whedon is to write and direct a movie version of Wonder Woman.

This has got the gang thinking – who should play Wonder Woman? I’ll be honest – we’re stumped. Andy suggested Eliza Dushku, but maybe she’s a bit young & MZA doesn’t want that spoiling his Huntress fantasy and I can’t disagree. My suggestion is obviously Tara Reid (link NSFW surprise, surprise) but I’d cast her in everything. I genuinely believe though that there’s a slutty side to Wonder Woman which Linda Carter just didn’t bring to life. Whedon himself has dropped a hint (“Where will I find a dark-haired olive-skinned beauty?”) that it may be the relatively unknown Morena Baccarin who certainly looks the part. She wouldn’t bring any of the baggage that could come with a more established “beauty” such as Angelina Jolie. Andy also suggested tubgirl, which is radical but could lead to censorship issues if she were to say “Stop or I shoot”. (Please, if you don’t know who/what tubgirl is don’t Google it. Especially if you’re my mother. It can do no good.)

So come on people – who would you cast as Wonder Woman? Best answer gets a no expenses paid trip to the Tuesday quiz at The Royal Stag in Datchet with my good self. Seriously, if you’ve never done a pub quiz with a bald cynic who can drink his own bodyweight in 2 hours you haven’t lived.

Police state?

West Yorkshire Police said two youths, aged 17, were being held on suspicion of threatening behaviour after an incident outside the cathedral.

Read on a bit and you’ll see that the lads were arrested for popping balloons. Now, I know the authorities here have problems identifying what is and isn’t a weapon (i.e. Iraq), but are balloons really to be the next WMD? OK, so they may sound a bit like a gun going off, but an eyewitness on Radio 5 stated that a rozzer heard the noise, saw the second balloon being popped, leapt off his motorcycle, grabbed the lads by the throat and pinned them against a wall. Isn’t that a bit extreme? They were popping balloons! Let’s have some perspective please.

Lighten up

Enough of the serious stuff.

Have a look at who wrote the score for the Alien V Predator movie. A name only trumped by this young lady (the fifth row down). What the cr@p were her parents thinking? And while you're looking at that page, if Robbie Taylor isn't in prison yet it can only be a matter of time.

Verbal diarrhoea

In about 40 minutes, Jack Straw the Foreign Secretary will speak to the Commons and answer questions about the latest allegations of dishonesty over the legal advice prior to the invasion of Iraq.

To save you the time and bother of actually listening to the horrid little man, this is what he’ll say…

Everything that you read in newspapers which is critical of Tony Bliar, the government and the invasion of Iraq is a lie.

Everything said by any member of the government about Iraq is true, has always been true and will always be true. We are always right and have never been wrong.

The Attorney General actually advised us that it would be illegal not to invade Iraq. The people of Iraq wanted it, oh baby they wanted it bad. The invasion and occupation, sorry liberation, have been a complete success.

War is peace. Freedom is Slavery. Ignorance is Strength. Phylos is a thought criminal. He will be re-educated.

Vote new New Labour. Whiter than white, or your money back.

Dr Who

A new series of Dr Who starts on Saturday. I can't wait!! You can get all the information you'll ever need about the Dr at the BBC's Dr Who site. There's a screensaver and half a dozen desktops featuring the lovely Billie Piper.

Here's a thought while we wait till Saturday. What would happen if you put one Tardis inside another Tardis?

All the news?

Channel 4 News consistently cover the stories other channels can’t be bothered with or have forgotten about. Their coverage of the run up to the invasion of Iraq is a case in point. On the day when most media outlets are reporting solely on the changes announced by Jack ‘man of’ Straw to prevent ‘intelligence failures’ occurring next time the government want to fabricate a justification for war, Channel 4 continue on the bigger story that Bliar is a liar and that the legal advice was a sham.

Elizabeth Wilmshurst was deputy legal adviser to the Foreign Office until she resigned on the eve of the invasion. Her resignation letter has been released today under the Freedom of Information Act. One paragraph though was censored by the government, something that should only be done on the grounds of national security. The censored paragraph reads

"My views (that an invasion would be illegal) accord with the advice that has been given consistently in this Office (the foreign office legal team office) before and after the adoption of UN security council resolution 1441 and with what the Attorney General gave us to understand was his view prior to his letter of 7 March. (The view expressed in that letter has of course changed again into what is now the official line.)"

What exactly are the national security worries over the paragraph above? It’s certainly embarrassing to Bliar but having an embarrassed PM isn’t a national security matter is it?

More seriously though is the implication that contrary to what we have previously been told, the Attorney General initially held the opinion that an invasion would be illegal without a second UN mandate. He suddenly changed his mind at some point between 7th March and 17th March. Why? I hope it was for a reason more solid than pressure from above.

This is a Muppet tribute

This is lovely. It’s called Muppet Overtime and is a tribute to Jim Henson and the Muppets. You’ll need QuickTime and don’t bother if you’re on dial-up. (Is anyone still on dial-up?)

Who said the Americans don’t do irony?

There’s a case limping its way through state and federal legislatures in the USA at the moment concerning Terri Schiavo. In case you’ve missed it, Ms Schiavo has been in a persistent vegetative state (PVS) since suffering a heart attack in 1990. Her husband, who over the last 15 years has tried every possible medical method to assist her recovery, has had her feeding tube withdrawn claiming that they had an agreement neither would prolong the life of the other if there was no hope of recovery. Ms Schiavo’s parents disagree and want her kept alive.

It is a difficult and highly personal matter which should not really be the centre of a media circus. But sadly, since fundamental Christians in the US are under the impression that they have the right to interfere wherever they like it has been headline news. Bush (after a brief conversation with God no doubt) even cut short his weekend so that he could sign legislation passed by the senate enabling them to meddle in the case, though the courts have since decided that this was unconstitutional. Oddly it was Bush who signed legislation in Texas giving hospitals the right to remove feeding tubes if relatives are unable to pay for continued treatment. Is that the caring, compassionate conservatism he was talking about during the election campaign? I guess he forgot about it in all the excitement.

What hasn’t been widely reported is that Terri Schiavo suffered the heart attack because of an eating disorder. In a society which puts thinness above all other female virtues, isn’t that what the media should really be focussing on?

Coughs and sneezes...

Last week Asian bird flu was going to kill us all. 'Experts' were predicting a global plague of biblical proportions. Two million Britons were going to die. This is despite the fact that the virus is very difficult to pass between humans and it has only killed 47 people in the last 15 months. Wouldn't it be nice if poor driving or alcohol which kills many, many more people received such attention?

I only mention it because I saw a picture of the virus earlier - does anyone else think it looks a bit like a Cacodemon from Doom??

All the best freaks (2)

Freeeeeeeeeeeeeak!!!!!

The mob rules

Vigilante violence: Death by gossip
His assailants believed Paul Cooper was a paedophile, so they beat him to death.
But he was innocent, a victim of vigilante violence

What sort of society have we become?

Dead Like Me

I don't think I've plugged a TV show before, but if you're anywhere near a satellite dish Dead Like Me has just started on Sky 1.
It's great.
Just watch it.

Jesus saves, but Defoe scores on the rebound

I’m posting this only because (and I think there must be some sort of celestial alignment) Tony Bliar has said something I agree with. He has stated that religion should not play a role in British politics.
Hurrah.
Religion plays no meaningful part in my life and Britain is becoming an increasingly secular society. Fewer than 1.2 million people will go to a C of E church this week. A greater number will attend a professional football match with many more going to non-league matches. Yet who have seats in the House of Lords, the Football Association or the Church of England? Who feels it has the right to speak up on any matter and expects us to listen solemnly? OK bad example, but the point is that based on popularity, the FA has more right to speak on my behalf than the C of E. I don’t want the FA speaking up for me because they are a bunch of dead brain hypocrites. Allegedly. I have no axe to grind with religion, really none at all. I respect all faiths equally and I ignore all faiths equally. Your religion is no more important to me than your skin colour or bank balance. It’s private and it’s your business. And my business is my business. It would be nice if the C of E and other religions listened to Tony but I doubt they will.

Heil Bush

Here's a story that made me chuckle. Senator Robert Byrd of West Virginia a senior senator and constitutional expert has likened Bush to Hitler. It is a comment that hasn't gone down well, but as is the fashion with politicians and the media, they are all jumping up and down making a fuss about the words used rather than actually looking at the facts behind the words and why Senator Byrd made the remarks. Maybe that's because the truth of an increasingly fascist USA would be too difficult a story for the mainstream to break. Maybe people would have to question their own role in the fascist take-over. Maybe they'd have to ask if their own patriotism maybe distracted them from what Bush was up to. Maybe it's best if they all stay quietly in front of the TV. There are many, many armed citizens in the US and if a few of them woke up to what the government is doing in their name it would be carnage.

Free books

Great site I found last night. Project Gutenberg is a free resource containing about 15,000 ebooks which you can download for free. Free is one of my favourite words, book is another so you’ll understand my excitement about this site.
An ebook if you can’t guess is an electronic book. You can search their database or just browse by author for the book you’re interested in and simply download it. It will come as a text file which you can copy and paste into Word, then format as you desire. I don’t like reading off a VDU so I print them out after work when no one’s looking.
All the books are out of copyright, so you won’t find anything too modern, but a lot of the classics and other books you may want to read but haven’t got round to buying are there. Have a look.

Today in history

Ok, so this isn’t as historical as say the signing of the Magna Carta or the opening up of the Berlin Wall, but 40 years ago today Bob Dylan released Bringing it all Back Home, his first electric album. It was one of the first CDs I bought, replacing a worn out vinyl version. From its opening, the legendary Subterranean Homesick Blues to the venomously passionate It's Alright Ma, I'm Only Bleeding, the album contains some of Dylan’s best songs and you really should own it.

From this distance it is difficult to perceive just how much of an impact Dylan ‘turning electric’ had. Fans of folk music are a fiercely protective of their genre and Dylan was their hero. Folk is played acoustically and by strapping on an Strat, Dylan was betraying them and selling out to the corporate rock n roll machine. You can famously hear one disgruntled folk fan on Live 1966; The Royal Albert Hall shout “Judas” just before the start of Like a Rolling Stone. I think history has proven that gentleman wrong. Top marks for passion though.

Sausages

I hope everyone is cultured enough to have seen Pink Floyd’s Wall. If you haven’t seen the whole film, you’ll doubtless remember the video to Another Brick in the Wall. There’s an iconic scene when the teacher stuffs kids into a mincer (no giggling at the back) and loads of kiddie flavoured sausage meat comes out.

Who says life doesn’t imitate art? It was an adult though not a child before anyone moans.

It's all a ploy

Here’s another site that might cheer you up. The writer claims to be a genius. A total genius. He is also better at football than George Best ever was. In fact he is better at everything than anyone who has ever lived. Better at everything except making himself clear I would say. I’ve read the site a few times now and am yet to be completely enlightened as to just what revelations it contains. Maybe I am as stupid as the writer claims we all are? File under N for Nutter??

Batman

It's Monday, you're tired, it only seems like 5 minutes since you were sat at your desk. Horrid.
Cheer yourself up with this CGI/Lego Batman movie. The filmakers have even got the real Batman, Adam West to voice the part, and persuaded Mark Hamill and Dick Van Dyke to join in. Cor blimey!!

DNA

There’s a load of guff in the newspapers and online today about the latest in chromosome research. It looks mainly at the X chromosome, of which women have two and us chaps have just the one. To make up for that we have a Y chromosome so that our lone X doesn’t get bored and start taking genomes apart to see what they look like inside. The upshot of the research is that females express more genes than men as an X chromosome has 1098 genes and a Y only 78. This is what makes men more vulnerable to genetic diseases and women less able to park cars.

For a more realistic example of the difference between men and women, I can do no better than this Bash quote……

.. friendship among women: she doesn't come home one night, and tells her bf that she spent the night with a female friend of hers. bf calls 10 of her friends, and none know a thing.
.. friendship amongst men: same thing happens. man says he spent the night at a friends place. gf calls 10 of his friends. 8 confirm he has been there, and the two others say he's still there.

That’s the brotherhood. Keep your genes.

Parliamentary process

A Plaid Cymru MP has been thrown out of the House of Commons after claiming that Tony Blair had "misled" Parliament over the Iraq war.

Isn’t that a quaint piece of English tradition? It’s OK for Tony B to actually tell lies to parliament as he has done repeatedly over the last few years when justifying his illegal war in Iraq. But it’s wrong to point out that he is telling lies. Nice to see the tradition of free speech alive and well in the mother of parliaments.

Adam Price, the MP involved is one of the leading figures in Impeach Blair. He commissioned the report A Case to Answer which is a good read if you care a jot about our leaders being accountable for their words and deeds. And you should care.

Research

Fascinating story from today’s Independent. Apparently students drink a lot.

On page 5 is a story about the Pope, breaking news that he’s a catholic (and still alive).

Kids

Doncha just love ‘em, the little mites with their cheeky smiles? No actually I don’t.

We live in troubled times. Troubling times anyway. Our moral perspective is way out of kilter at the moment. Nothing illustrates this better that the way we treat the young. Are today’s children rampaging satans? Are they maniacal demons? Could they be abusive little thieves?

Or, are they delicate little flowers that need procecting from Marmite adverts. That’s right. There is a new evil in the UK and it isn’t predatory paedos. It’s Marmite adverts. Or it could be conkers. Let kids play conkers and they’ll all end up disabled. Actually, it’s probably football. Football is to blame for everything that’s wrong in society. Mrs Thatcher said so and when has she ever been proven wrong about anything?

What is going on here? When did kids become innocent blossoms incapable of sin unless corrupted in some way by the society around them? It’s rubbish. Where did Charles Dickens get the inspiration for the gang of young criminals in Oliver Twist? It wasn’t just from his brilliant imagination, it was because there were gangs of evil kids running round pinching anything not screwed down. By all means take reasonable precautions to protect kids from the worst excesses of the world around us, but if we carry on in this fashion the next generation of young adults will be a bunch of whining ninnies as able to cope with the pressures of modern life as my cats are able to solve quadratic equations. It’s a tough world. It sucks a lot of the time, there are plenty of people out there who’ll cheat and lie and much, much worse. The sooner people get used to it the better.

Those crazy cardinals

Have a look at this and tell me what you think.

The Roman Catholic Church in Italy has spoken out against what it says are "shameful and unfounded lies" in the best-selling novel The Da Vinci Code.

It’s a book. A novel. The product of someone’s imagination. It doesn’t contain any stories of blokes walking on water or feeding multitudes with a packed lunch. Sulphur doesn’t rain down from the skies and laws aren’t distributed to old gents on the top of mountains. There are no apocalyptic floods and serpents do not lead vulnerable young women astray.

Will the Vatican decree that copies of The Da Vinci Code be burned? Maybe we should start to burn blasphemers as well. That’s how they did things in the fourteenth century and nobody questioned the church then did they?

'tards

One of my very early posts was a rant about poor spelling. My particular gripes being the interchangeable use of there, their and they're and the incorrect use of your and you're.

So this t-shirt made me laugh out loud!! It's from Busted Tees and they have some great stuff. Being a Brit with a passion for the Classics, I think I may have to buy myself this one.

Equally funny but way ruder are T Shirt Hell. NSFW.

I’ve just noticed that both sites have t shirts featuring the lovely Olsen twins. Mmmmmm, thank you America.

They seek him here.....

A story has just gone up on the BBC News website reporting that General Musharraf the president of Pakistan admits that they have lost the trail of Osama Bin Laden, having had a good chance to capture him last year.
It struck me as odd, because in January 2002, the very same General Musharraf told CNN that Bin Laden was dead. The Israeli intelligence agency think he's dead as well. The old Taleban, his former best mates and protectors reported his death and funeral in December 2001. Even President Bush, in March 2002 stated that Bin Laden was not a threat to the US and that he was no longer concerned. A more confident man may even have declared that the war on terrorism was over.

But guess what happened instead. A couple of weeks before last year's election, with Bush trailing in the polls, up pops a new 'Bin Laden' video. Far from reminding the US people that Bush had spectacularly failed in his pledge, made on the wreckage of the Twin Towers no less, to get the man reported to be responsible (and there are huge doubts), Bush actually went up in the polls. This was because he took the chance to remind people how unsafe they were, that America was at war and only he could prevent further terrorist attacks. Instead of pointing out what a terrible job he had done in preventing the last one, a compliant media fed the lies and the propaganda. The election machine rolled on. Bush remained president.

What a stroke of luck. Wasn’t it? It wasn’t anything more sinister was it? Who benefits from the myth of Bin Laden and al-Qaeda? Which country’s arms industry is making a fortune fighting terrorism? Which incompetent, half @rsed joke of a world leader was re-elected partly through fear of the bearded bogey man? Answers on a postcard please.

News of the weird

You’d think with all his current problems, the last thing Michael Jackson needs is advice from Britney Spears. But she’s offering it regardless. And what sound advice it is too, for according to the blonde bombsite all MJ needs do in order to get his life back together is get drunk and start a fight in a bar. So all those pub fights you see around the country on a Friday night are nothing to do with idiots who can’t handle their beer. They’re all just (alleged) paedophiles trying to rebuild their shattered lives.

In South Africa, there’s one bloke who’s probably wishing he’d avoided the pub all together last weekend. After a rugby match, a group of lads decided to go for a session and then drive home. Drink driving is quite rightly frowned upon in South Africa and the police were ready. When our hero tried to flee the rozzers opened fire, leading to him getting a bullet right through his penis. That’ll learn him.

Finally, to protect innocent, impressionable minds, the new edition of Today's New International Version Bible published tomorrow has been purged of all references to people getting stoned. How could anyone have been confused? Jesus was way too much of an overachiever to be a stoner. He would have been on speed.

Star Wars (again)

I think I’ve mentioned that I’m a bit of a Star Wars fan. I was browsing around the Empire Online website earlier, to look at who won what at their awards ceremony last night and was pretty chuffed to see Kevin Smith pick up the Independent Spirit award. His acceptance speech was quite funny. Unless you’re a 3am girl. Then I saw this.

The Ultimate Star Wars poll.

It has 34 questions ranging from best episode (if you pick an episode other than IV, V or VI, I never want to see you here again), through best droid, best innuendo, best spoof to best Special Edition tweak. If nothing else it’s a great excuse park your bum on the sofa and watch them all again. What do you want to go out for anyway?
Excitement, adventure? A Jedi craves not these things.

Handy

‘Scientists’ have developed a mouse for people whose hands shake while they’re using a computer. It's fully adjustable depending on the degree of shaking. It may prove more popular than they imagined.

This bloke will want two for starters.

The referee’s a….. lovely bloke, no really, he is

What is it with Spurs and referees this year? First there was the now infamous “Roy Carroll cheating, the ball was clearly over the line, Stevie Wonder would have given it” incident at Old Trafford in January. Yesterday we got robbed of a place in the FA Cup semi’s by a ref who disallowed a perfectly fine goal from Robbie Keane then missed Bowyer’s hand-ball. To be fair Shay Given played a blinder, was well deserving of man of the match and would probably have saved the penalty but it’s no consolation is it?

So there is to be no St Hotspur's Day this year, no silverware for another 12 months and we’ll have to qualify for Europe by finishing above Liverpool. Easy, easy, easy, easy……

Opera

I try to use Microsoft products as little as I can. Any organisation that has such total dominance in its field is not to be trusted. I especially loathe Explorer. It’s slow, insecure, allows in spyware and pop-ups love it as much as I hate it. For the last 3 or 4 years I’ve used the Opera browser and I cannot recommend it highly enough.

When I bought my new PC in February, the first thing I downloaded was Opera 7.54 the newest full version. Hunting around today I have found that a Beta 2 version of Opera 8 is available now. I installed a while ago and was instantly impressed. I am keeping 7.54 active for the time being as there are a few features from it missing on the new version and it isn’t yet compatible with all websites, but I really cannot recommend Opera highly enough. Give it a go.

Monday

Just expanding on this, I have had a look through my visitor stats, and Explorer is used by 53% of visitors, with Firefox second on 22% and Opera third at 21%. Lets get Microsoft below 50%.

No I don’t want a new kitchen

My phone has rung 3 times in the last hour or so, and every one has been somebody trying to sell me something. I reckon about 75% of the calls I receive now are similar and it annoys me greatly. It probably happens to you and no doubt you find it equally annoying.

I rang the BT Nuisance Call line (0800 661 441) who advised me that there are two organisations you can register with which should reduce if not eliminate marketing calls.

The first is the Telephone Preference Service. You can call them on 0800 398 893, or you can register your number via their website.

The other organisation is Silent Call Guard. Their number is 0870 444 3969 and you simply have to key in your home number when prompted.

This has been a public service posting.

Rilo Kiley

There was an article in The Independent’s Review section today (I don’t just read the politics you know) about a band called Rilo Kiley.

I’ll admit I’d never heard of them but I trust the critics in The Indy and generally agree with them so I’ve done a bit of digging and found a site where you can download a few of their live shows so you can have a listen if you want. Or not, I don’t care. I've d/l'd about 30 tracks and they're very good.

The law is an @ss

I'm not really sure what I can say about the lead story in The Independent today that I and many others haven't said a hundred times before. Iraq war revelation: There was no full legal advice. Luckily for Tony, the shenanigans between the Commons and the Lords over the Terrorism Bill will prevent this being reported fully by most media organisations, but it really should be the bigger story.

If anyone in the news media or parliament could be bothered to be objective, calm and impartial rather than frenzied, manic and blinkered they would see that the battle twixt Lords and Commons really isn't much of a story. There is a Statutory Instrument within the Terrorism, Crime and Security Act 2001 which will, at the request if the Home Secretary, renew the legislation should the replacement Act currently being debated not be in place by Sunday night (when the 2001 Act expires). Although the High Court has declared the Act illegal, Parliament retains sovereignty over legislation and only it can repeal Acts. So all the threats from the government benches and the deeply cynical move in making the former Belmarsh detainees pawns in a political pi55ing contest are just fluff. Either the guys in Belmarsh are a massive threat to our security (as stated when they were detained in 2002) in which case they can and indeed should remain in prison (though obviously charged and tried), or they are of no threat at all and Tony Blair should be asked to explain why they have been detained without charge or trial for so long. Enough of this for now, let the children in parliament play and the rest of us go about our business. I'm sure I'll return to the subject soon enough.


The main point I wanted to make concerns the sentences handed down in 3 tragic cases this week that appear to show a huge discrepancy in the sentencing policies of the judiciary. In the first case yesterday, three teenagers were jailed for life for the horrific scythe murder of a friend. This morning a 14 year old boy was also sentenced to life for stabbing a pizza shop worker in a dispute over a discount. Also today, two 17 year olds have been sentenced for dropping a 16 year old boy who could not swim and who was afraid of water from a bridge into the River Stour, where he drowned. In this case, the youth who pleaded guilty has been sentenced to 8 months, and the lad who protested his innocence has received 18 months. I know enough about law to realise that intent has a lot to do with this. The 2 boys in the latter case didn't intend to kill their victim, but surely the degree of recklessness shown was such that the consequences can hardly be said to have been totally unforeseen?

The law must not only be done, but also be seen to be done an old saying goes. This is necessary in order for public confidence to be maintained, and to prevent mobs or vigilantes dispensing their own justice. I cannot conceive how Mr Berry, the young boy's father, must be feeling this evening, but he has every right to feel badly let down by a system he put his faith into. He deserves more.

Book lovers never go to bed alone

This is disgraceful and should concern us all. According to the Culture, Media and Sport Select Committee, Britain’s libraries are in a scandalous state and urgent action is required from those responsible for the service to reverse the decline in visitors, lending figures and the fabric of the library estate.

Libraries are one of the things us Brits should be the most proud of. Public Libraries were established by the 1850 Public Libraries Act, though private and scholarly libraries were open to the public as far back as the fifteenth century. The movement to create public libraries began in 1840 with campaigning by the Liberal MP’s William Ewart and Joseph Brotherton along with Chartist Edward Edwards. Unsurprisingly the Conservative party of the day opposed them arguing that "people have too much knowledge already, it was much easier to manage them twenty years ago. The more education people get the more difficult they are to manage." I think many Conservative MPs today share this view. I wonder if Tony Bliar does also?

Libraries did much more than make the great works of literature available to the common man. It allowed them access to the pamphlets and writings from the progressive movements of the time such as the Chartists, the Fabians and the Suffragettes. Information is power. As Thomas Jefferson said “Educate and inform the whole mass of the people... They are the only sure reliance for the preservation of our liberty.” Through these new sources of information people were not only better able to understand their own rights, they became confident enough to demand them. Even today, if you walk into a library you will see posters and magazines from campaigning groups. A library should be the first port of call for anyone wanting to spread a worthy or noble cause to a greater number of people.

But as important as those lofty aims is the simple fact that books can be expensive and access to them should not be dependent upon income. I don’t just mean the great and good literature, reference books and encyclopaedia, there’s no intellectual snobbery involved at all. I’d rather anyone read a Jackie Collins than watched Eastenders. Books not only broaden the mind, they can remove us from the tedium of our own lives by taking our imaginations on great journeys; they can inspire and provoke; amuse and enrage. A library should be seen as vital a part of a community as a Post Office, shop or pub. Visit yours.

Next time

Arsenal come to White Hart Lane, can I suggest that the Champions League music is played over the tannoy as the players run onto the pitch. As soon as the gooners hear that tune they start playing like donkeys.

I hate it when..

you give the ketchup a big shake. Then realise that the lid wasn’t on properly, and you get ketchup up the wall.

And over the telly.

Where did this come from?

Bare with me as I’ve started to write about this story several times, and have gotten nowhere. I’m just throwing thoughts out at the moment.

The IRA has said it told the family of the Belfast murder victim Robert McCartney that it was prepared to shoot the men directly involved in his death.

I’m not sure what to say. It’s simply one of the most astonishing political stories to come out this year. The IRA are in a cease fire, Sinn Fein are trying to be a legitimate party rather than the political wing of a terrorist group, we have to a greater degree peace in Northern Ireland, when out of the blue comes this old fashioned ‘let us take care of it our way’ statement.

Every PM from Wilson to Thatcher took the attitude that there could be no surrender, no dialogue, no concessions and the violence and deaths continued. Then John Major in secret and Bliar more openly began talks with the IRA and other terrorist groups. It led to peace. The whole process has been a holy grail to pacifist liberals like myself proving that talking really is better than fighting. It’s all the more shocking because the IRA have arguably been the biggest beneficiary of the whole peace process. Long Kesh (HMP Maze) is empty, convicted killers and bombers are free, former terrorists held positions within the Northern Ireland Assembly, Gerry Adams has been lauded for his political skills. What on earth led the IRA/Sinn Fein to make the offer to 'shoot' its own members and then release a statement as if they are proud of it? What will happen next? I cannot possibly guess.

How many more lies?

I make no excuses for continuing to bang on with this Iraq/Tony lied theme. The Independent carries another story this morning which appears to confirm that Tony lied, not only to you and me but also to his own colleagues in the cabinet.

Politicians’ lying to their electorate isn’t really a story - it’s always happened. But to show such flagrant disregard for the very people you are supposed to govern with must be a new level of arrogance. What has really made me cross is that the newspaper reviewer on Sky News has dismissed the story in such an off-hand manner. “The Independent are like a dog with a bone on this matter” was the comment as if they should drop it and move on. Well excuse me but just because a story is old doesn’t mean we should forget it? Did anyone say on Auschwitz Day recently ‘well they should stop moaning about the holocaust, it was years ago’? I don’t think so. If something is wrong it’s wrong. The timescales are immaterial.

The biggest, most difficult, and certainly the most serious decision any leader can make is to begin a war. To sacrifice lives. The lives of people who have volunteered to defend the country they grew up in and love. If the foundations of that war are then proven to be hollow lies, the leader involved must be held to account. It’s that simple. Isn’t it?

Not funny

I ignored this story about the BBC’s recent poll to find the funniest sitcom ever as, with the greatest respect to you my dear readers whose opinions I cherish, the vast majority of people I come across know cr@p all. By cr@p all I mean of course that their opinions differ from mine, but let’s not split hairs.

Take for example, Channel 4’s recent poll to find the 100 greatest cartoons of all time. Please, somebody tell me on what parallel universe is The Lion King 59 places better than Captain Pugwash? And where’s Bagpuss? I am pleased that South Park was third, doubtlessly annoying many, many people and Family Guy is a pleasantly surprising 5th but it hardly makes up for the total exclusion of Bagpuss does it?

So it was with a heavy heart I clicked the top ten sitcom link and was suitably depressed if not at all surprised. Friends according to my fellow citizens is funnier than Blackadder, funnier than Monty Pythons Flying Circus and funnier than Porridge. (Also funnier than Little Britain and Father Ted, but I’ll exclude them from my rant due to their relative lack of longevity.) Lord give me strength. These same people will be voting in a general election soon, deciding the government!!! Friends was funny for a season and a half. That’s it people. Watch it again and you’ll see I’m right. I gave the last couple of series a fair chance - they’re repeated endlessly on satellite TV and it don’t get any funnier. Friends, sadly became a formulaic, predictable money train. It is some consolation that if the same survey is done in 20 years time, and it will be, Monty Python, Blackadder and Porridge will still be there. I hope Friends will be relegated to the position it deserves.

I need a pint now. Quiz night at the Royal Stag. If you’re in the area pop by and say hello. I’ll be the angry looking bald bloke at the bar surrounded by countless pints of London Pride. And lovely blonde ladies.

One of those statements is true.

A shocked Bagpuss earlier this evening. The mice are too depressed for pictures and have retired to the mouse organ with their Red Stripe and little mousey Rizlas.

Man turns on sprinklers to create a tower of ice

John Reeves is dwarfed as he walks by the nearly 150-foot Fox Ice Tower outside Fairbanks. Reeves began work on the tower in October when he set up a sprinkler system and pumped water through it. He guesses the tower will be 160 to 180 feet tall and weigh an estimated 80,000 tons by April, when he plans to turn off the water to the sprinklers.

How cool is that!!!! The full story is here, and there are some more pictures here.

More rubbish science

Biscuit-eating dummy tests crumbs

Experts (Experts?? Biscuit eating robot experts? I despair) have invented a mannequin with a motorised mouth to test the amount of crumbs biscuits produce. Staff at the Mcvitie's laboratory in High Wycombe, Bucks, designed the Crumb Test Dummy to test which baking techniques produce the most crumbs.

The motorised mannequin has plastic teeth and is designed to replicate human eating. A Mcvities spokeswoman said the crumbs produced by a biscuit show if it has been cooked to perfection.

"Eating lots of biscuits is obviously an enjoyable prospect for most people but we haven't yet found a human who can test on this scale" Mcvitie's brand manager Liz Ashdown added (allow me to introduce myself Liz). "The Crumb Test Dummy has a never-ending appetite and doesn't need to stop for breath." I remain keen

Still no cure for cancer.

Guns R US

I hope no one reading my ‘I’m scared’ post below thinks I’m complacent about the terror threat. I know it’s real and genuine, I just don’t think it has significantly increased over the last few years. Certainly not enough to justify the Draconian laws proposed by the present UK government.

If I were living in the US I may be a little more concerned. I would probably think that certain measures should be bought in to protect citizens from suspected terrorists. Sensible measures like maybe NOT SELLING THEM GUNS!!!…… from today’s New York Times

Terror Suspects Buying Firearms, U.S. Report Finds

WASHINGTON, March 7 - Dozens of terror suspects on federal watch lists were allowed to buy firearms legally in the United States last year, according to a Congressional investigation that points up major vulnerabilities in federal gun laws.

People suspected of being members of a terrorist group are not automatically barred from legally buying a gun, and the investigation, conducted by the Government Accountability Office, indicated that people with clear links to terrorist groups had regularly taken advantage of this gap.

Since the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks, law enforcement officials and gun control groups have voiced increasing concern about the prospect of a terrorist walking into a gun shop, legally buying an assault rifle or other type of weapon and using it in an attack.

I actually don't think anyone should own a gun, but I know that Americans love their weapons and I wouldn't want to come between them. I just think, you know, dangerous people owning guns may not be the way forward for a safer America. It’s just thought.

So I have a few hours on the computer, a bit of tea, a shower; then I want a relax on my sofa. Not a chance. It's a cat flop-house in my flat tonight.

I'm terrified (of Tony)

Since 9/11, a cynic would say that the single greatest weapon in the political armoury has been fear. Fear of the unknown suicide bomber, the unknown assassin, the unknown terrorist with woolly, undefined objectives to somehow bring an end to the freedom and democracy we enjoy. Keeping the populace scared the thinking goes, will prevent them from asking difficult questions, from challenging the wisdom and diktats handed down from on high. They can also say what a good job they have done in preventing any attack, and it is true there hasn’t been a 9/11 here (but could this be that there isn’t really much of a risk?). Anyone with a liberal disposition such as myself simply see a government obsessed with control, wanting to use whatever means it can in order to deprive citizens of their liberties and the right to keep a check on the executive branch of government.

The weakness in this method of social control is that when you cry wolf, and are proven to have lied, as with Bliar’s WMD claims in the infamous ‘dodgy dossier’ people are loathed to give you a second chance. So with the government’s anti terrorism legislation heading back to the commons this week, they are having to use every trick at their disposal to get us to fall for their lies a second time. This makes the Sir John Stevens story from the weekend all the less credible.

In case you missed it Sir John has stated that secret intelligence information passed to him while he was commissioner of the Met made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. Further, he claims there are 200 or so Bin Laden trained terrorists wandering around Britain just waiting for orders. Strong stuff and a valid contribution to a Parliamentary debate. Except that Sir John chose not to launch this information onto a sceptical public via a speech in the Lords, but rather through a column in The News of the World. This is the same News of the World whose recent foray into politics, the ‘naming and shaming’ of paedophiles was ended quickly after a paediatrician had ‘paedo’ sprayed across the front of her house and her windows broken. Several people with the same name as those listed in the paper were beaten senseless by angry mobs. I think those facts tell you all you need to know about the paper and its readers.

Sir John, a former Commissioner of the Metropolitan Police, was ‘promoted’ by Tony to the House of Lords five or six weeks ago. It was a personal appointment, something within the gift of a Prime Minister, but normally only used to get Bishops into the Lords. Sir John’s ennoblement raised a few eyebrows as it was so unusual, but now the motives are clearer. Like a good lap dog, Sir John has answered his master’s cries in a time of need. Instead of giving a speech in the Lords and then facing his peers and answering their legitimate questions, a column in the popular press allows Stevens to state his viewpoint without being challenged and to receive maximum publicity on a traditionally slow news day. And of course the television news journalists report on the NotW story and the surrounding fuss rather than the facts of the underlying story. Isn't the timing of all this just perfect? An unpopular piece of legislation, savaged in the press, condemned by MP’s and civil liberty groups and today rejected by the Lords (even the former Lord Chancellor and Bliar's law tutor Lord Irvine voted against!). But all the talk on the street (they hope) will be of 200 terrorists. Walking free. Is it him? Or him?

Two major concerns leap out at me. Firstly the reliance on secret intelligence. This will no doubt be the same sort of secret intelligence that allowed Colin Powell and Jack Straw to make such a compelling case for the invasion of Iraq to the UN two years ago. You remember all those charts and maps and photographs of weapons plants, chemical factories, arms dumps. That all turned out to be 100% bang on didn’t it? Who’s being held accountable for that sham? No one. That’s who. By publishing in a newspaper, Sir John can avoid being asked questions like “How do you know there are 200 potential Bin Laden’s walking around? Prove it.” “Why on earth don’t you arrest them if you have the information?” “What about the 10 guys in Belmarsh? The high court has declared their detention illegal. Are they being detained on secret intelligence?”

Secondly we have a raft of anti terror measures on the statute books of this country. It may be disjointed and diverse, but a Bill to unify and clarify it would be very much more welcome and less controversial than a Bill containing a whole new set of undemocratic rules. The decision whether or not to jail someone, especially without trial, must lay with an independent judiciary not an elected politician. The concession of judicial review announced late last week does not apply to all cases but only those which could lead to house arrest. Easy to get round as a ‘suspect’ will simply be charged with something meriting detention. And it will all be done in secret just in case any nasty human rights watchers get wind of it and start making a fuss.

What is the threat from terrorism? That we will be forced to live in fear, scared that every swarthy looking male is a terrorist? Blair is doing the terrorists’ job by feeding irrational and misplaced fears. If he has genuine concerns then he should level with us and tell us.

The gas man cometh

I got home to a lovely letter from British Gas tonight, welcoming to my new home and hoping that I enjoy the benefits of British Gas. Bother is, there isn’t a gas supply to my new home.
What’s the betting that it’ll take more than one easy phone call to convince them of this? Fingers crossed.

I aint gettin in no bath crazy fool!

Mr T Bath Duck

Genius!!

Happy birthday

A massive, warm and heartfelt happy birthday to my great mate Murray, who’s 30 today.

Happy birthday.

Dedicated followers of fascism

An American chap by the name of Dr Laurence Britt has done some interesting research. He looked at the political systems created by Hitler, Mussolini, Franco, Suharto, and Pinochet – fascists by anyone’s definition – and identified 14 factors that each of those distasteful regimes shared. Then he matched up those 14 factors to Bush’s America. And guess what……. like Cinderella’s glass slipper, it’s a perfect fit.

Killjoy was 'ere

What's all this about?

Forty children from a Tyneside school have been suspended after taking part in a snowball battle.

What is the point of having snow if you can't have a good snowball fight? Any car driver targeted should have parked up and joined in. What is the world coming to?

Game

I've spent 20 minutes on this game and I haven't got passed level 1. If anyone has a clue, please leave me a comment as I am going slowly mad.