Why?
Why do I leave the house on bank holiday? I do it every time and the result is rarely good. This morning after unclogging and defluffing my mouse for about the fifth time this week I decided that an optical mouse (or wireless pointing device as it’s described on the box) was a worthy investment. I should have ordered one from Amazon from the comfort of my living room. Take my pathological hatred of crowds, add my dislike of people who dawdle aimlessly, sprinkle on a layer of small children running around free, bake on a warm bank holiday morning and you have the perfect recipe for stress and fury.
It’s a while since I’ve been into Windsor, and I’d forgotten just what a sh1thole it is. The Castle is great, beautiful and being a local I get in for free. I may not like the monarchy much but they have some lovely stuff - the Queen’s Canalettos are worth the trip alone. Apart from that there are only shops selling overpriced trinkets and assorted crap to tourists who seem to leave whatever sense of taste they have at home; “Oh look Johnny, a British bobby made out of fudge, Aunty Maude will just love that.” There are no shops in Windsor selling anything useful, so I just walked up and down the main drag once and headed back to the car. The only consolation is that the Christians who had set up a stall in the centre of town with their banners and flags and proselytising pamphlets of fairy stories were packing up. Sadly they were replaced by a bloke playing the pan pipes over a ‘wall of sound’ PA system. If there’s one thing I hate more that Christians it’s pans pipes and wishy-washy ‘world music’.
The alternative to Windsor was a drive down the A4 to the PC World/Dixons complex just outside Slough. The A4 between Slough and Maidenhead has a set of traffic lights about every 150 yards and the traffic control system can only have been designed by a fool. Huge queues build up in the lightest of traffic. It’s dreadful, but it isn’t quite Slough so I was blessed with a small mercy. Anyway, long story short I have a new optical wireless pointing device and it’s a bright, socialist red. I’ve had a cigarette and a cup of tea and am as calm as a mountain stream.
But I’m never leaving the flat again.
It’s a while since I’ve been into Windsor, and I’d forgotten just what a sh1thole it is. The Castle is great, beautiful and being a local I get in for free. I may not like the monarchy much but they have some lovely stuff - the Queen’s Canalettos are worth the trip alone. Apart from that there are only shops selling overpriced trinkets and assorted crap to tourists who seem to leave whatever sense of taste they have at home; “Oh look Johnny, a British bobby made out of fudge, Aunty Maude will just love that.” There are no shops in Windsor selling anything useful, so I just walked up and down the main drag once and headed back to the car. The only consolation is that the Christians who had set up a stall in the centre of town with their banners and flags and proselytising pamphlets of fairy stories were packing up. Sadly they were replaced by a bloke playing the pan pipes over a ‘wall of sound’ PA system. If there’s one thing I hate more that Christians it’s pans pipes and wishy-washy ‘world music’.
The alternative to Windsor was a drive down the A4 to the PC World/Dixons complex just outside Slough. The A4 between Slough and Maidenhead has a set of traffic lights about every 150 yards and the traffic control system can only have been designed by a fool. Huge queues build up in the lightest of traffic. It’s dreadful, but it isn’t quite Slough so I was blessed with a small mercy. Anyway, long story short I have a new optical wireless pointing device and it’s a bright, socialist red. I’ve had a cigarette and a cup of tea and am as calm as a mountain stream.
But I’m never leaving the flat again.
posted by phylos @ 14:59
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