Double Entendres
To lift the mood. (Thanks Mike) A young lady asked me for a double entendre the other day actually, so I gave her one.
Michael Buerk on watching Fillipa Forrrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC's UK eclipse coverage remarked: " They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts"
Ken Brown commentating on Golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining up shots at the Scottish open: "Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself"
Jack Burnicle was talking about Colin Edwards' tyre choice on World Superbike racing: “Colin had a hard on in practice earlier, and I bet he wished he had a hard on now"
Chris Tarrant discussing the first Millionaire winner Judith Keppel on This Morning: "She was practicing fastest finger first by herself in bed last night"
Cricketer Neil Fairbrother hit a single during a Durham v Lancashire match, inspiring Bobby Simpson to observe: "With his lovely soft hands he just tossed it off"
Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said: "There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this"
James Allen interviewing Ralf Schumacher at a Grand Prix, asked: "What does it feel like being rammed up the backside by Barrichello?"
Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: "Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69"
The new stand at Doncaster race course to Brough Scott's breath away...”My word" he said "Look at that magnificent erection"
Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on Time Ream Live said: "You'd eat Beaver if you could get it"
A Female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, Where's that eight inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard.
US PGA Commentator: "One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that before each shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them......Oh my God!!!!!! WHAT HAVE I JUST SAID?!!!!
Metro Radio - "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they have eleven Dicks on the field" (If Dicks was playing for West Ham at the time there will be more than a grain of truth in that comment)
New Zealand Rugby commentator - "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him"
Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - "And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing"
And my favourite - Motty from Gary Lineker's last match for England - "With 5 minutes left, Taylor has pulled off the England captain.
Michael Buerk on watching Fillipa Forrrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC's UK eclipse coverage remarked: " They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts"
Ken Brown commentating on Golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining up shots at the Scottish open: "Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself"
Jack Burnicle was talking about Colin Edwards' tyre choice on World Superbike racing: “Colin had a hard on in practice earlier, and I bet he wished he had a hard on now"
Chris Tarrant discussing the first Millionaire winner Judith Keppel on This Morning: "She was practicing fastest finger first by herself in bed last night"
Cricketer Neil Fairbrother hit a single during a Durham v Lancashire match, inspiring Bobby Simpson to observe: "With his lovely soft hands he just tossed it off"
Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said: "There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this"
James Allen interviewing Ralf Schumacher at a Grand Prix, asked: "What does it feel like being rammed up the backside by Barrichello?"
Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: "Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69"
The new stand at Doncaster race course to Brough Scott's breath away...”My word" he said "Look at that magnificent erection"
Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on Time Ream Live said: "You'd eat Beaver if you could get it"
A Female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, Where's that eight inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard.
US PGA Commentator: "One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that before each shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them......Oh my God!!!!!! WHAT HAVE I JUST SAID?!!!!
Metro Radio - "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they have eleven Dicks on the field" (If Dicks was playing for West Ham at the time there will be more than a grain of truth in that comment)
New Zealand Rugby commentator - "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him"
Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - "And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing"
And my favourite - Motty from Gary Lineker's last match for England - "With 5 minutes left, Taylor has pulled off the England captain.
posted by phylos @ 13:26
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