Diamond

So, I've been out buying music again. Retro this time, foremost amongst them Reasons to be Cheerful, The Best of Ian Dury.

God, I’d forgotten just how good The Blockheads were. Join with me in singing to their majesty…

Noel Coward was a charmer.
As a writer he was brama.
Velvet, jackets and pyjamas,
The Gay Divorce and other dramas.

There ain't half been some clever bastards
(Lucky bleeders, lucky bleeders)
There ain't half been some clever bas-tards.

Van Gough did some eyeball pleasers.
He must have been a pencil squeezer.
He didn't do the Mona Lisa,
That was an Italian geezer.

There ain't half been some clever bastards
(Lucky bleeders, lucky bleeders)
There ain't half been some clever bas-tards.

Einstein can't be classed as witless.
He claimed atoms were the littlest.
When you did a bit of splittemness,
Frighten everybody shitless.

There ain't half been some clever bastards.
Probably got help from their mum
(who had help from her mum).
There ain't half been some clever bastards.
Now that we've had some,
let's hope that there's lots more to come.

There ain't half been some clever bastards
(Lucky bleeders, lucky bleeders)
There ain't half been some clever bas-tards.

Okey-dokey!
Oh!

Poetry.

And speaking of bastards - First Great Western Link, you are a bunch of. I accept that things go wrong occasionally. I’m happy to believe that ‘signalling problems in the Maidenhead area’ will cause a delay on the service from Reading to Slough. I don’t really mind that the knock on effect meant that my train was packed to the rafters with a seething mass of unwashed humanity. It happens. What I don’t understand though is how said ‘signalling problems in the Maidenhead area’ caused the trains between Slough and Windsor to be all ballsed up. There is just one bit of track between Slough and Windsor with concrete, closed platforms at either end. The train leaves Windsor and chugs to Slough. The driver gets out of the cab at the front, which is now the back and gets into the cab at the other end. People get off; people get on. The train chugs back to Windsor. Repeat. Easy. The driver couldn’t take us to Maidenhead if he was pissed up and half blind. Even Mrs Thatcher could have made it run on time. It’s warmer in Gdansk than it is in Slough tonight, anyone want to see my brass monkeys? Bastards.