We don't want no cups

We have a great drink vending machine here at work. It is immense, the size of a small bus, it makes cacophony of strange and interesting noises but produces the best machine coffee that I have ever had in an office based environment. Truly, it is wonderful.

A feature I particularly like is the ‘No Cup’ option. This means that I can place my new Spurs mug underneath the little nozzley thing, press the ‘No Cup’ button and receive an infusion of hot coffee directly into said mug. I can also get 2 plastic cups worth of coffee into my mug thereby halving the number of times I have to get up from my seat. I believe that’s called a win-win situation.

This morning however the machine is out of plastic cups. No problem I thought, I don’t want one of your stupid cups anyway cos I have my mug. I pressed the ‘no cup’ button followed by 22 (coffee, white, no sugar) and the machine just beeped at me. The LCD display advised “Unable to vend – no cups”. But I don’t want a cup!!! So I tried again. Same result.

What the hell is that all about? If it has cups, you can select the ‘no cup’ option, but if has no cups you can’t. It’s almost Kafkaesque in its baffling anti-logic. Fucking thing’s going to start singing “Daisy, Daisy” soon, you mark my words. And then it’s going out the window.

Anyone got a kettle I can borrow?