Oedipus

has been reborn and he now works for Tesco.



But would Jocasta approve?

The Earl

With the recent passing of the legend that was George Best, those of us who like a drink need a new hero. It makes us feel better, gives us hope in the same way that those of us who smoke always treasure the grandfather who smoked 300 a day and lived 'till a ripe old age. My grandad Arthur was a great example. Smoked his first roll up at 12, down the pits at 14, spent WW2 in Burma (fighting rather than building railways) and lived well into his 80s. I miss him. But I digress.

So how about Henry Earl? He clearly likes a sup. He's been busted 932 times since 1992, mainly for being intoxicated, but I notice there's the odd 'Criminal Littering' rap. Criminal littering? There were 11,348 homicides involving firearms in 2001, but they arrest people for littering? Can I suggest US law enforcement agencies look up the word priorities?

What else can I say. The Henry Earl buzz is getting louder. It's another of those things the internet was made for. Check it out.

Black ops

Extraordinary rendition is a disgusting policy the US government operate whereby terror suspects are slipped out of US controlled detention and sent to places like Syria, Egypt and possibly Eastern Europe where the rules on torture are a little more relaxed. It is quite possibly Bush's most morally bankrupt policy although it is of course up against some stiff opposition. His managing of the US economy, his response to Katrina and his love of the death penalty all spring to mind.

Some of us, in that part of the free world outside of the US, think that torture is never justified. We take the view that in order to beat terrorists you have to be better than them. We believe that the 'liberating' powers should be setting an example, a powerful example of our decent and humane values. Not torturing people would be a good place to start wouldn't it?

In Europe anyway, the fight-back has begun. Two weeks ago Spain launched and enquiry after it was alleged that Spanish airfields were used by the CIA to refuel planes en-route to the US's hidden torture centres. A few days later Iceland and the Nordic states began enquiries to see if their airfields had been used. Yesterday Portugal began looking into the matter. And today, at long last George's best mate Tony Bliar ordered an investigation into whether UK bases were used. Bizarrely, the US government is also investigating the allegations and I'm sure George and Dick must be horrified that the CIA are torturing people. They must be, right? Oh, maybe not. I hope the first witness in front of the US enquiry is Lawrence Wilkerson. He was Colin Powell's chief of staff and he believes that Cheney holds a great of the reponsibility for the torture scandal and the lies told prior to the invasion. A transcript of his interview is here.

The other big Iraq related story is the revelation that Mr Bliar had to talk Mr Bush out of bombing the al-Jazeera news channel based in Qatar. The Qatar that is on our side, where our troops were based prior to the invasion. Bush wanted to bomb them. This would be a bigger story but for the fact that Lord Goldsmith, the Attorney-General spent most of last week on the phone making threats that anyone who published details of the memo would be prosecuted under the Official Secrets Act. The White House have of course denied the allegations so why the strong arm tactics here? Not hiding something are we Tony?

It is in this kind of situation that the blogosphere comes into its own. On Friday Blairwatch launched We're Prepared To Pay The Price Of Freedom, Are You? It has had a massive response and of course I have signed up. As soon as the memo enters the public domain, you'll find it here. They cannot jail all of us. As Boris Johnson MP and editor of the Spectator says

The Attorney General's ban is ridiculous, untenable, and redolent of guilt. I do not like people to break the Official Secrets Act ... we now have allegations of such severity, against the US President and his motives, that we need to clear them up.
If someone passes me the document within the next few days I will be very happy to publish it in The Spectator, and risk a jail sentence. Sunlight is the best disinfectant. If we suppress the truth, we forget what we are fighting for.

Al Jazeera staff have set up a splendid blog, Don't Bomb Us which you should keep an eye on. Even if you disagree with what is being said, the more information you have, the better able you are to discover the truth. No doubt this is why Mr Bush thinks Al Jazeera so dangerous.

Clean for cats

She gets everywhere.

Crap science

Part, I don't know, is this the 1000th yet?

'Beer goggles' effect explained

Scientists believe they have worked out a formula to calculate how "beer goggles" affect a drinker's vision.

The drink-fuelled phenomenon is said to transform supposedly "ugly" people into beauties - until the morning after. Researchers at Manchester University say while beauty is in the eye of the beer-holder, the amount of alcohol consumed is not the only factor. Additional factors include the level of light in the pub or club, the drinker's own eyesight and the room's smokiness. The distance between two people is also a factor.

They all add up to make the aesthetically-challenged more attractive, according to the formula. The formula can work out a final score, ranging from less than one - where there is no beer goggle effect - to more than 100. Nathan Efron, Professor of Clinical Optometry at the University of Manchester, said: "For example, someone with normal vision, who has consumed five pints of beer and views a person 1.5 metres away in a fairly smoky and poorly lit room, will score 55, which means they would suffer from a moderate beer goggle effect." The research was commissioned by eyecare firm Bausch & Lomb PureVision. A poll showed that 68% of people had regretted giving their phone number to someone to whom they later realised they were not attracted.

Beer goggles formula ratings
Less than one: No effect
1-50: Person you would normally find unattractive appears less "visually offensive"
51-100: Non-appealing person becomes suddenly attractive
More than 100: Someone not considered attractive looks like a super model

Is that in pints? Can anyone see anything after 100 pints? I can't drink that much in a week (anymore).

The illegality of war

This morning, a group of bereaved relatives led by Rose Gentle, are launching a High Court bid to overturn the government’s refusal to hold a full public enquiry into the illegal, immoral war in Iraq. I defy you to find news of this on Blair’s lapdog BBC though. You will of course find plenty of stories about death and continued human rights atrocities.

So what has Blair got to fear from a full, open public enquiry? You don’t need me to run over it again or post anymore links to the phoney WMD claims, the 45 minutes from disaster lies etc etc. It just shows how spineless he is that he will not allow his pre-war claims to be examined in any detail. I think it indicates he has something to hide don’t you? Just like Mr Bush. Not wanting to stifle free speech, he’s having protesters outside his Texas ranch arrested on parking violations . Land of the free, my arse.

It’s the human stories that makes the Iraq war such a tragedy. There are a million untold stories from the voiceless Iraqis who were promised everything by the US/UK coalition and who have in fact lost everything. Few will ever be told. It wouldn’t fit with the continued lie that all is well, that the people are happy, that they welcome their ‘liberation’.

But the loss here is no less painful. Rose Gentle’s story poignantly told in her own words here. Please read it. Equally moving is Catherine Green’s account of the loss of her brother. She is with Rose at the High Court today. My thoughts and hopes are with them.

Why Tony Blair must be forced to face a public inquiry into the Iraq war

A few weeks ago someone asked me about my family. I hesitated for a moment and then answered that I have just one sister. I thought it would be easier to say than the alternative, which is that I also had a brother but he died in the war. It happened over two-and-a-half years ago, but I have only just begun to comprehend the reality.

I could have stood there and said that he died a hero, or in years to come I could tell people that at one time we were all about to die from a nuclear attack and that my big brother raced against time to save me and millions of other people he didn't even know from a nuclear extinction.

But unfortunately only one part of that would be true, the part where he was racing against time.

Soldiers know that they might be asked to place their lives in peril; they are all brave and courageous and take pride in serving their country. However they must also be assured that their leaders would only ask them to act in circumstances that were in the national interest and were lawful. At the time, the Prime Minister assured soldiers that they were fighting a war that was fully justified in international law. They were fighting to disarm a country that held weapons of mass destruction and which threatened international peace and security at home.

Thirty-three months later, on the strength of that insistence, 98 are dead, many have been disabled and wives, parents, siblings and children are grieving. No evidence of nuclear weaponry has ever been found in Iraq, the threat of an attack within 45 minutes was never substantiated and, even worse, was possibly not true.

continues

Update:

So, anyone want to fill me in on the 'special relationship?'

Bush aides 'double-crossed' Blair

The ex-US diplomat at the heart of the political crisis in the White House says Tony Blair was "double-crossed" on the reasons for going to war with Iraq.
Joseph Wilson said he believed the Mr Blair had thought he was getting involved with a "disarmament campaign".

But "he was double crossed by the regime change crowd in Washington" and ultimately had "no choice" but to go along with a regime change war.

Mr Wilson told BBC Radio 4 the White House had "hyped the nuclear case".

Cool for cats

Rosa is both metaphorically and literally the coolest cat.

Media hypocrisy

Isn't is weird that the media, who are today screaming about the shortage of flu vaccines and the risk this poses to the elderly and the infirm are the very same media who, only days ago were spreading ridiculous scare stories about bird flu and how it was going to kill us all?

There’s no analysis of their own culpability in creating this shortage, no apologies to the pensioners going without; it just isn’t their fault. Very odd.

Morning had broken

Don't you love the mornings at this time of the year? The crisp, clear air, the wonderful light, the sun teasing you with its brightness but not its heat.

I had to be in London this morning so I took an early train to give me the time to walk from Waterloo Station to the office in Chancery Lane. It was worth it.



Above is The Thames from Waterloo Bridge at about 9.00 this morning, looking upriver towards Westminster. You can see the London Eye and Parliament through a slight haze as the frost burns off.

This is looking downriver at lunchtime, again from Waterloo Bridge. The three major buildings on the skyline are, from the left St Paul's, Tower 42 (formerly the NatWest Tower) and the gherkin. In the foreground is a river taxi and it's nice to see the river being used again as a means of getting around town. It seemed to go out of fashion at some point in the 70s but it's making a big comeback. The main reason is that there are simply too many cars in London even with the congestion charge now at £8 per day. According to Transport for London the average speed of traffic in central London is 10.6 miles per hour which is about what it was a century or more ago when people got about in Hansom cabs. Progress.

I had a good meeting, not least because it was short, concise and I was back at home by 2.30. I’m co-authoring a new training and development manual for the financial advisers in my company and today was the last meeting before the final version is produced. The content is agreed and I now have to knock together the final proof, amending and I hope improving the content, grammar and structure, then homogenise the formatting - the real anal stuff.

I was on cracking form if I do say so myself. Technically, by which I mean my in-depth knowledge of financial products and my experience of training people, I am the weakest member of the team. But I am not hampered by any preconceptions about how things 'should be done.' I've never said 'But we've always used this form.' I don't like jargon and (this blog excluded) I'll try not to use 30 words when 10 will do just as well. I normally get stressed out before these meetings but I didn’t get the draft we used today until 5 minutes before we started as I was out and about yesterday afternoon and not able to access my email. So I just shot from the hip and picked up one major omission and a couple of other points. I'm always at my best when I'm under pressure, when I have to think on my feet. Hurrah for me.

You all have a good weekend y'hear.

5 things

I was tagged by jenn over at i am following my fish. Here goes…

10 years ago - I was 28 and a few weeks into my penultimate year at Leeds University where I studied Classical Civilisation. I was having a great time. I'd given up a good job building aircraft, my flat on the Isle of Wight, all the things I'd worked for since leaving school at 16. I drank, took all the drugs I could get my hands on, shagged about and studied. I lived in a nice house in Kirkstall with two top blokes and a cnut, but his girlfriend was sweet. Life was good.

5 years ago - I was living with Claire in Reading. I must have been working in the Pension Review. It was good money and we lived in a nice though small flat, we smoked a lot, ate well (£13 of pick and mix sweets one Saturday night) and we tried not to take things too seriously. Life was good.

1 year ago - I'd just passed my finance exams and received a 30% payrise. I'd also just realised that the finance industry was killing me slowly through boredom and indifference. Escape plans were formed. They're still being worked on.

yesterday - I lay in bed beyond the last possible second and was 15 minutes late for work. I blamed the traffic. I blamed it again today. Had a really busy morning, worked through lunch, drove to my other office, ran off some reports, sent some files off to an external auditor and left early. Cooked myself a good shepherd’s pie for tea, went on-line, ranted and drank some brandy. Went to bed at about midnight.

5 yummy things - single malt whisky (Talisker or The Balvenie), good weed, red leicester on toast with a dash of HP sauce, a proper roast dinner, jelly babies.

5 songs I know by heart - Brown Eyed Girl, Van Morrison (makes me cry, but that happy crying); Brassneck, The Wedding Present; all of the White Album, in fact pretty much all The Beatles' songs; The Saturday Boy, Billy Bragg; 25 Minutes To Go, Johnny Cash.

5 things I would do with a lot of money - I've never had too much money. I haven't been truly poor either, but I've been close and have only recently (at 38) learned how to manage what I earn and make to it last the month. I'll be debt free in 5 months which will make an enormous difference to my life. So, and apologies if this sounds shallow but the first thing I'd do if I suddenly became rich would be to enjoy myself. Really, really enjoy myself. Relax (you know what I mean), unwind, spoil myself and the people I love. A big TV, games systems, all the DVDs and CDs I've always wanted, a DB9. If I lived past the first 6 months I'd want a nice place in the countryside, several actually; one on the Isle of Wight, one in Wiltshire and one in Yorkshire. Then I'd travel; St Petersburg, the Americas, Greece, Italy. Where would one stop? I'd like to do something to keep me busy which might be a little bookshop in York or Kirkstall or an art house cinema. I'd probably become a bit of a philanthropist as well. For example, I want to give something back to the hospice which cared for my dad in his final weeks, nearly 20 years ago now. Places like that never have enough money. We can afford advanced bombs that fly down chimneys and wait for the target to get home from the shops before exploding, we can afford space stations that do nothing but go round and round all day and all night but we can't afford to care for our sick and dying. About a third of the population of the world has to walk more than a mile to get clean water; dirty water causes diarrhoea which is just a nuisance in the west but it kills thousands of people in the developing world. It makes me fucking mad.

5 places to escape to - My space. I'm quite a recluse at heart. I love my family & friends and I see them often but some weekends, probably too many recently, I'll get home at 5 on a Friday afternoon and not speak to another person until I get back to work on Monday. Solitude is important to me. In my flat I have my books, my music, my computer, the TV and satellite box, I eat well, there's always a bottle of something on a shelf and there's usually a Henry or so in my tin. What more do I need? When I go and see my family on the Isle of Wight I always, always take a long walk by the sea either at St Helens or Brook Chine. I prefer it in the winter when there is nobody about and the sea is wild. The sea, the whole of nature is so much bigger and more impressive than anything man has ever made or ever will make. Look at Monet’s Water Lilies. Isn’t it exquisite? I spent about an hour looking at it the first time I saw for real and I still see something new every time. But now look outside at the trees changing colour as autumn advances (pic from Re-Inventing the Wheel), the infinite shades of red, brown and green. Who could paint that? Too few people appreciate the beauty we have all around us and for free as well.

5 things I’d never wear – sandals, anything expensive, white socks, anything else white (except my Let It Be t-shirt & my Yankees shirt. I don't even own a white Spurs shirt. I have a yellow one, a blue one, a stripey purple one - the best shirt we ever had, but not a white one. If you ever see me eat you'll know why. Ex forces personnel (and I believe former public schoolboys) all tend to eat like the plate is about to be snatched away. It's something to do with having to eat crappy food in a short timespan. You just want to get it down so that you can go for a smoke. Or a pull), err spots and stripes I don’t know. Really, clothes are the least important thing in my life. It’s been years since I bought anything new. I have a pullover on at work today because my shirt only has 3 buttons down the front and one of the cuffs is torn, but it works so it’ll do. People worry to much about what they look like. I’d wear my dressing gown 24/7 if I could.

5 favourite TV shows - I'm really falling out of love with the TV. For too many years UK telly has been mediocre at best and I've struggled to find five shows without diving deeply into my memory. But they would be, in no particular order, Family Guy, Simon Schama's History of Britain, South Park, errr the news?; oh and I have a real weakness for those reality cop shows. You know, Road Wars, Worlds Wildest Police Videos, Street Crime UK, I can't get enough of them. Sorry.

5 things I enjoy doing – I try to enjoy most things I do or do mostly things I enjoy. I enjoy reading, writing, pondering the majesty of life, walking in the quiet, discussing the world... that sort of thing.

5 favourite toys - I'm not a big collector of gimmicks and the like. I don't have an i-pod or even a Walkman. My mobile phone is basic, but has a decent camera and does the job. I have a Roberts R986 which is tiny and goes everywhere with me. I have the South Park figures, Jay & Silent Bob figures, a full set of Battle and the Planet figures from Japan, Bagpuss and one of the mice, John Lennon and a Blue Meanie all sat on a bookshelf by a Living Reef but not much else (actually that's quite a lot of man-crap isn't it). My 5 favourite things are my Mont Blanc pen, my Zippo, a copy of η Πολιτεία του Πλάτωνος beautifully bound in green leather, my dad’s old RAF textbooks and the box I keep my memories in. If my flat were on fire those 5 things and of course my cats would be what I'd save first. I have an emotional bond with each of those items.

Oh tags, I forgot to tag...

I'll tag Emily and Jenn has already tagged Skrambled so I'll just encourage him a bit more. Any passing stranger should have ago. Introduce yourself.

Philistines

I know I'm very precious about literature, but I think it's important. The great books were not the result of half a days work, rather they were crafted thoughtfully over weeks, months or even years. The style of writing, the grammar, the individual words used are every bit as important as the storyline.

So why are University College supporting this appalling idea?

Hamlet: "2b? Nt2b? = ???"

Some of the greatest works of English literature have been compressed into simple text message for a college revision scheme. Hamlet's famous line, "To be or not to be, that is the question", for example, becomes "2b? Nt2b? = ???". The service is designed to help English students revising for their exams and was backed by University College London's Professor John Sutherland.

Other books which have been turned into text message summaries include Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice and Charles Dickens's Bleak House. Professor Sutherland said the service "amply demonstrates text's ability to fillet out the important elements in a plot". He added: "Take for example the ending to Jane Eyre - 'MadwyfSetsFyr2Haus'. Was ever a climax better compressed?"

Did it need to be compressed? According to my copy of the book Ms Bronte actually ended with;

St. John is unmarried: he never will marry now. Himself has hitherto sufficed to the toil and the toil draws near its close: his glorious sun hastens to its setting. The last letter I received from him drew from my eyes human tears and yet filled my heart with divine joy: he anticipated his sure reward, his incorruptible crown. I know that a stranger's hand will write to me next, to say that the good and faithful servant has been called at length into the joy of his Lord. And why weep for this? No fear of death will darken St. John's last hour; his mind will be unclouded, his heart will be undaunted, his hope will be sure, his faith steadfast. His own words are a pledge of this: "My Master," he says, "has forewarned me. Daily He announces more distinctly, 'Surely I come quickly!' and hourly I more eagerly respond, 'Amen; even so come, Lord Jesus!'"

That is far, far better than 'MadwyfSetsFyr2Haus' which frankly makes no sense whatsoever.

2 Unv Clg
stk yR txt Idr ^ yR rrrs
lv φ

Light relief

File under "You couldn't possibly make it up."

Massachusetts pols push measure lessening punishment for animal sex

Four state legislators in Massachusetts have introduced a bill that would soften the crime of bestiality, a move pro-family activists say is a natural progression of the state's legalizing same-sex marriage.

Colour me speechless.

Some stuff (mostly angry stuff)

Lordy, wasn't I in a bad mood yesterday? It shouldn't be a great deal better today after a scan through the headlines.

Of least significance in the great scheme of things is the English cricket team snatching defeat from the jaws of victory in Multan. A good old fashioned batting collapse is to blame. We have only ever won two tests in Pakistan so there's no real shame; many great players in many great teams have returned without a win, but we were so close. That's the nature of sport I suppose.

No good news coming from the powers that be and the abuses which they continue to commit in our name. After denying the use of white phosphorus in Iraq, the US military have had to admit they did actually use it and that they lied when they said they hadn't. They promise that it was only used to flush out the bad guys though, not as a weapon and certainly not against civilians. The evidence from Fallujah would seem to contradict that statement.

But plus ca change. The US denied using Napalm in Iraq but they did. They're trying to get off on a technicality here. Strictly, Napalm (as used in Vietnam) is gasoline and polystyrene but the stuff used in Iraq was kerosene and polystyrene. You see? Totally different things. Chalk and cheese. That's good enough for George. This contemptuous attitude towards the intelligence of the rest of the planet really should be beneath 'the most powerful man in the world'. Even if 'the most powerful man in the world' is a fucking retard. Which of course he is.

After changing their story over the reasons for the invasion from WMD to human rights, you'd think that the coalition would be trying hard to keep this story alive. You'd think. But with allegations that coalition troops have deprived Iraqi civilians of food and water and fresh evidence that the 'new' Iraqi security services are just as bad as the 'old' security services, this story is falling apart as well. If they were just honest and said it was about oil and W's need to finish what his dad started and then fucked up at least people like me would stop moaning. I'd probably die of shock. A politician being honest. Imagine such a thing!!

Of course, all is well in Tonyland. We learn today that Jean Charles de Menezes was assassinated by the Met with dum-dum bullets. Dum-dums were declared illegal by the Hague Declaration of 1899 but this only applies to the military, not the police. Darned technicalities again.

And isn't it odd that the Met Police release new pictures of the 7/7 bombings on exactly the same day that the Commissioner Sir Ian Bliar demands a whole new set of powers to tackle terrorism. He really is a nasty little fascist. Bliar (Ian) also voiced "frustration" at the public "silence" on what it wanted the police to do. He clearly doesn't visit the same websites as me, so here's an idea. First kick out the racists, the bigots, the educationally sub-normal and the people who execute innocent men. Then with the half-dozen or so officers you have left, rebuild the Met as an entity which earns the respect of Londoners rather than demanding it.

I should sit on a committee or something.

ID cards. Eliza, the present head of MI5 thinks they'll be a good thing. But Dame Stella, the former head can't really see the point. Maybe there will be an informed debate now? Maybe Eliza and Stella should mud-wrestle for it?

I should sit on a committee or something.

The EU Audit Committee would be a good one. For the ELEVENTH consecutive year, auditors have rejected the EU's accounts. The good news however is that they can now account for 35% of the total budget, up from just 6% in 2003. I'll say that again. In 2003, auditors actually verified only 6% of the $100 billion spent by the EU. The other $94,000,000,000 could have been trousered by anyone, the EU simply does not know. It's so astonishing that I really am lost for words. This should be a massive story but have you seen it on the news? The saddest thing is that Britain has no alternative but to throw our full support into Europe. We are too small, our industry was so thoroughly destroyed by Th*tch*r that we cannot exist as just 'Britain' now, we need the muscle of Europe. The alternative is to form a trade block with the US, but their economy is on the verge of dying a horrid death so do we want that? If anyone wants to join me in trying to raise the cash to buy No Man's Land Fort in the Solent please email me. I have no sinister plans. I just want a quiet place where I can drink, smoke, read, think, raise my cats and declare independence from the rest of the world. Is that too much to ask? (I am totally serious about this by the way. Fuck the world. I'm not the only one who feels at two with most of humanity am I? The price is £7,000,000 so I only need another £6,999,500.)

And finally a word of warning. If one more person approaches me with a bucket, tin, book of raffle tickets or any other means of collecting for fucking Children in Need there will be a homicide. I assure you of this. Up with this shit I will no longer put. Charity is, to me anyway, a personal thing. I do my bit, I really do and for the charities that I want to support; I just do it quietly, without a song and dance. The trouble with Children in Need and its bastard sibling Comic Relief is that the hype is so extreme you are bullied into taking part. You're made to feel like a leper if you don't contribute or take part in some stupid way. A woman came round the office this morning selling raffle tickets. When I said "NO" her face couldn't have registered greater disgust if I had admitted responsibility for the de-virginisation of her daughter, the holocaust and the Spanish Inquisition all in one crazy night out. (Her daughter actually is a good night out, but I didn't tell you that.) I think I'll take a sickie on Friday, just to be safe. You know, it'll probably be for the best if I just stay in the flat with the curtains drawn, the TV off and my new favourite ever recording, The Chants of the Russian Orthodox Church on repeat. I can feel a plan coming together.

P.S. I paid to download the chants in the highest possible quality (quite superb) and I'm allowed to pass my access code onto 3 people. First 3 people to leave a positive comment on early church music and send me their email address will win. You lucky people. I love you. Really. I do.

Oi tubs

Have you all seen Super Size Me? There's a scene in it when a doctor (I think) is talking to Morgan Spurlock and he wonders when overweight people will start getting the same treatment as smokers. All us smokers know what he means, those superior looks you get when you light up in a pub, the exaggerated stage coughing and rude comments from the morally pure, sanctimonious non-smokers. This doctor quite fairly states that tubbers are putting their health at risk every bit as much as us smokers, but they don't get a hard time. They get sympathy as they spout the old "it's glandular" bollocks. Well, the fightback starts here.

Poor diet 'costs NHS £6bn a year'

Poor diets cost the NHS £6bn a year in ill-health - three times as much as smoking, a study suggests.

Can you read that over the top of your whopper box? Listen, I was overweight a few years ago and it's easy to fix. You just eat less and walk more. It's a fuck site easier than giving up smoking. You're costing way more than me yet I pay 80% tax on my cigs while you just pay VAT on your saturated fat fix. How's that fair? Goddamn it. Smokers need a better pressure group.

Morality

Here's an interesting story from Sky News.

Smoking While Car Sank

A barmaid who smoked a cigarette as her car sank into the sea died of hypothermia, an inquest has heard. Mother-of-two Helen Hogan drove her Astra estate off a ferry slipway in Poole, Dorset. Nearby anglers said the 30-year-old made no attempt to get out of her car after it sped into the water on Sunday night. Fisherman Mike Warren , 31, told the Daily Express: "I was going to jump in but changed my mind when I saw her light the cigarette.

"It was like she wanted to go."

Mrs Hogan, of Canford Road, Bournemouth, was pulled from the vehicle by coastguard crews but attempts to resuscitate her failed. The inquest heard she died in Poole Hospital at 2am on Monday.

So what would you have done? She clearly wanted to die, so did the angler 'do the right thing' by allowing this to happen? Or is life too precious to be ended on what may have been just a moment of bleak despair? Leave some thoughtful comments and I'll tell you a true story. Maybe.

Thieves

Shop around people. Every retailer wants to fuck you in the ass. While wishing you a merry christmas.

Firms 'ramping up online prices'

Leading electronics companies have been accused of ramping up prices for online shoppers in the run-up to Christmas. The Office of Fair Trading (OFT) said it was examining a complaint from the Independent Media in Retailing Group. The IMRG says manufacturers have been raising wholesale prices for online retailers - leaving them unable to undercut High Street prices.

The OFT declined to say which firms were being probed. Sony is reported to be one, and has denied the accusation.

It said it offered a basic price to all resellers, which was then affected by the various discounts on offer. Analysts say manufacturers prefer traditional retail outlets as they allow their products to be put on display. However, the practice of "dual pricing" means that High Street stores and e-tailers face different wholesale charges. The IMRG says the practise stifles competition and the higher costs are forcing online sellers out of business as well as leading to higher prices for consumers. So far the group has refrained from naming the manufacturer it claims began "dual pricing", but it has threatened to name the company in question if the practice continues. According to IMRG, 20% of electrical goods, worth an estimated £5bn, will be sold online in the run-up to Christmas.

A public service posting.

At the going down of the sun...

and in the morning,
We will remember them.


I know a Captain of Industry,
Who made big bombs for the RFC,
And collared a lot of £.s.d -
And he - thank God! - has the OBE.

I know a Lady of Pedigree
Who asked some soldiers out for tea,
And she said 'Dear me!' and 'Yes, I see' -
And she - thank God! - has the OBE.

I know a fellow of twenty-three,
Who got a job with a fat MP -
(Not caring much for the infantry.)
And he - thank God! - has the OBE.

I had a friend; a friend, and he
Just held the line for you and me,
And he kept the Germans from the sea,
And he died - without the OBE.
Thank God!
He died without the OBE.

A.A.Milne

Meme

I found another one of those personality tests over at Emily's blog. I'm Oscar the Grouch, a sloppy introvert. Quel surprise!!

Oscar the Grouch You scored 31% Organization, 63% abstract, and 30% extroverted!

This test measured 3 variables. First, this test measured how organized you are. Some muppets like Cookie Monster make big messes, while others like Bert are quite anal about things being clean. Second, this test measured if you prefer a concrete or an abstract viewpoint. For the purposes of this test, concrete people are considered to gravitate more to mathematical and logical approaches, whereas abstract people are more the dreamers and artistic type. Third, this test measured if you are more of an introvert or an extrovert. By definition, an introvert concentrates more on himself and an extrovert focuses more on others. In this test an introvert was somebody that either tends to spend more time alone or thinks more about himself. You are more sloppy, both concrete and abstract, and more introverted. Here is why are you Oscar the Grouch. You are both sloppy. You might not always know where everything you need is. Perhaps you don't even care. You don't live in a trash can though. You both can be concrete or abstract thinkers. Oscar's vision of life is very dreamy in an unusual way. His greatest pleasure is being unhappy, but the act of being unhappy makes him happy... which is exactly what he doesn't want. That's quite abstract. You have a good balance in your life. You know when to be logical at times, but you also aren't afraid to explore your dreams and desires within limits. You are both quite introverted. For whatever reason you are uncomfortable in social setting

I'm the exact opposite of Randal. I love people but hate gatherings.

Take the test here.

Defeated!

Ha!!!! Bliar gets a lesson in parliamentary democracy. His first defeat. 291-322.

Blair defeated over terror laws

The last few days have been an unseemly show as Bliar has gotten increasingly desperate to get his pet project - 90 days detention without charge for terror suspects - through a doubting house. His lap dogs in the tabloid press have been batting for him, all the faceless, crony MP’s looking for promotion have been speaking up for him, even police chiefs have been bought into the battle talking up the case for the government in the both media and in the Commons where the PM's office have been encouraging them to write to MPs. The police should be policing, not indulging in politics.

90 days was always a random figure. It was never justified or backed up with any real evidence of a need. We were told that it takes weeks to examine CCTV footage and hard drives, but it only took them six days to sift through more than 2,500 tapes after 7/7 and find the 'bombers'. Hmmmmmm indeed. Hundreds have been arrested in the UK since 9/11 and only a handful have been charged with anything, let alone terrorist charges and that is under the current legislation. 90 days would encourage even lazier policing if such a thing were possible. Dodgy ‘foreign types’ would have been rounded up, their lives nosed through and they would then be freed after 3 months. Imagine the hostility and resentment that would cause.

It’s not often I have a good word for the Commons but today they have ignored the Prime Minister, ignored the Sun reading, blood baying masses and voted against an illiberal act that would have harmed civil liberties and community relations in the UK. Well done to you.

Hearts and Flowers

Aaaahhhhhh....

Prime Minister Tony Blair was so "seduced" by the "proximity and glamour of American power" that he failed to use his leverage with President Bush to slow the rush to war with Iraq, Britain's former ambassador to the United States has written in a new book.

George and Tony sitting in a tree....

Does this strike anyone else as pathetic? Pathetic and yet believable. I mean, when has Tony ever shown any backbone? A couple of years ago Mandy convinced him that there were no more skeletons in his closet, but soon after Mandy was forced to resign for a second time. Blunkett seems to have convinced Blair that he'd learned his lesson and so was allowed back into the cabinet, only to resign for a second time. See a pattern evolving here?

Recent UK policy decisions become much clearer when you keep your mind open to what George is up to and Tony's little infatuation with all things evil. One example may be the use of torture.

The USA could easily be rebranded as The United States of Torture. When the US Senate recently voted 90-9 to ban the torture of prisoners held by the US military, Bush was outraged and indicated that he may veto the decision. The VP, Mr Cheney while insisting that the US doesn't use torture (no, really) said that it should at least be allowed to use torture if it wanted to.

Torture in the UK was abolished by James VI & I way back in the 17th century. That the UK may be turning a blind eye to it in the 21st century was first disclosed by Craig Murray, former ambassador to Uzbekistan, back in 2003. Mr Murray was removed from his post when he dared suggest that our new best mates in Uzbekistan may not be democratic trend setters. In fact he stated that the Uzbeki regime was a brutally repressive dictatorship. This offended Blair and so the ambassador was replaced. He lost his job for telling the truth. Because Britain is a trend setting democracy.

Last month the government asked the Law Lords for a ruling on the use of evidence in UK courts that was obtained under torture, albeit in another country. The flag waver for this was the normally publicity shy Eliza Manningham-Buller, head of MI5. Her evidence seemed to centre around the 'fact' that evidence obtained under torture had foiled the so-called 'ricin plot'. I commented on this 'ricin plot' at the time. What Ms Manningham-Buller failed to say in her evidence was that there was no 'ricin plot' at all - the trial collapsed. Apart from the evidence obtained under torture in Algeria, Morocco and Jordan there was no case. No ricin was found in the flat at the centre of the enquiry, the accused had no links to any terrorist groups; there simply was no plot.

Putting aside for a moment the obvious moral argument against torture, the ricin case showed the trouble with using torture. People will say anything to make it stop. If you're hanging from a meat hook by your wrists, which have been bound behind your back and you can feel your elbows and shoulders slowly dislocating wouldn't you want it to stop? If you'd not been fed or given water for a week prior to this wouldn't your defences be lowered? Yet Bliar wants judges in the UK to turn a blind eye to this sort of abuse and no doubt many worse examples. It is only a step away from the US policy of extraordinary rendition whereby a prisoner in US custody is removed to a third country and tortured there, away from the prying eyes of US & global human rights groups.

Is this the way we want our democracy to develop? Once the WMD argument fell apart were we not told that the invasion was all about human rights? Do we not lose all moral authority when we are shown to be as bad as 'them'? This isn't about beating terrorism. This is sadism. It isn't about justice. It's about vengeance. Bush must listen to his senate, Blair must listen to the Lord Chancellor. And we must all shout that this cannot happen in our name.

Their right to reply

You might remember that I wrote to BP late last week

In Windsor, where I live, my nearest BP station sells unleaded at 95.9p a litre. I work in Farnborough where the nearest BP station sells unleaded at 93.9p a litre. I drive to work through Bagshot where the BP station sells unleaded at 97.9p a litre. In Reading last night I saw a BP forecourt offering unleaded for 92.9p a litre.

I appreciate that you exist to make a profit, but how can you justify such a wide price range in such a small geographical area? Should I have to pay more for my petrol because I live in a 'wealthy; area?

Here's what they have to say for themselves

Dear Mr Day

A nice start

Pricing of fuel at the pumps takes many factors into consideration and can be very complex. One is the cost of crude, which as we saw in 2004, fluctuated from around $30 a barrel and peaked at $50 in the space of a few months, it is now at a high of around $63 a barrel. Other contributory factors can be the cost of the refined product, high demand across the world, global political tensions, £/$ rate, even the weather.

Ignoring the poor grammar, punctuation and abysmal sentence construction which sadly continues throughout the letter, this paragraph doesn't address my question at all.

Motor fuel is heavily taxed in the UK with 70% of the pump price going to the government in excise duty and VAT and therefore that part of the price is out of our control. Before tax, UK fuel prices are amongst the lowest in Europe.

That's a bit like saying apart from the coughing up of blood and the excruciating pain, lung cancer is a very pleasant way of dying. It doesn’t answer my question.

We are continually focusing on driving down the costs we can control and optimising our performance. In this fiercely competitive market we have seen a number of petrol stations closing and retailers are increasingly focusing on non-fuel activities in order to stay in business. This is evidenced by the wide range of non-fuel items now introduced into our stores such as the Wild Bean Cafe and the Connect offers.

Poor BP, they only made £8.7 billion profit in 2004. Still doesn't answer the question.

BP's pricing policy on our company owned network is based on maintaining value for money for consumers within each local trading area reflecting the location of the site, its facilities (ie shop, car wash etc) and the competition. We monitor prices and aim to remain as competitive as possible across the UK.

Sounds a bit like - we'll charge what we think we can get away with.

BP branded sites outside our company owned network are owned by dealers who are independent businessmen and are free to set their own selling prices.

Sounds a lot like - they'll charge what they think they can get away with.

Thank you for giving us the opportunity to comment on our prices and [we] trust that we have clarified this very complex subject for you.

So no surprises. The market is king. On the plus side they do seem to respond to the local situation. A new Esso station opened on Frimley Road this week selling unleaded for 91.9p a litre. The BP station down the road from it soon dropped its price to 91.9p. A price war would be a good thing. Go on BP, drop you price to 90.9p. I dare you.

Pink, pink hippos

Not a headline you see every day.

Sea washes up hundreds of hippos

Eight hundred pink hippopotamuses, toy dogs and red-legged turkeys have been washed up along the Sussex coast.

Members of the public spotted the animal toys - wrapped in plastic bags - at Selsey Bay and west Wittering. The toys, worth £100,000, are lost cargo from the ship Bunga Pelangi which shed four containers in rough seas on its way from China to Southampton. The Shropshire firm which ordered the toys, said locals could keep one each and give the rest to animal charities.

But remember if you keep one that a pink hippo is for life, not just for Christmas.

Bye

My work is done.

Blunkett resigns from the Cabinet

Balls up Blunkett

I've pondered for a while before writing about the latest David Blunkett story as the entire Labour party are now so far beneath my contempt that I find it easier just to ignore them. But he simply cannot be allowed to get away with this now it turns out that he didn't just take one job without following the correct procedure but three. Three times he ignored the advice of the Cabinet Secretary, I assume because he though that he was above the rules or that they somehow didn't apply to former a Home Secretary, even one who has a record of being less than best mates with the truth. (I wasn't the only person who enjoyed his last resignation immensely.)

But then I found this little gem.

Honesty best policy, Labour told

Former Home Secretary David Blunkett has warned Labour to be more honest with the voters. The first step in "rebuilding trust" should be a "different style" of manifesto, Mr Blunkett said during a lecture in Birmingham.

Rebuilding trust. Just think about that for a second. Does anyone feel inclined to trust David Blunkett at the moment? I thought not. Follow you own advice David. Resign.