Good causes?

I’ve been pondering getting a little more active in the real political scene, rather than just sitting at my PC grumbling. But for what cause and to what end?

When I came out of the RAF 15 or so years ago, I got involved in a variety of pressure groups; environmental, political, peace you name it I had the t-shirt. Or mug (Nuclear Power? No Thanks!) or car sticker (Save the Seals) or badge (Cole Not Dole), whatever. I tried to reconstitute the CND group at Leeds University when I went there in 1993 but was beaten back by a wall of apathy. Me and a sweet thing called Hannah tried for a semester or so but you can only do so much. It was also obvious by then that Hannah was never going to fall for my dark charm and ready wit, but that had nothing to do with it. Honest. Then after four years of ‘study’ and grotesque overindulgence I graduated, I was 30 and I suppose life got in the way. My political passions subsided as I returned to the 9-5 and started to worry about the rent and all that other mundane stuff.

Now that I have a bit more time and a bit more inclination I find that although my political passions remain, a great bulk of my motivation to act has been either consumed by my cynicism or and this came as quite a surprise, has been dampened by the fact I am better read and more critical. My first passion back in the early 90s was to save the planet. So let’s have a think about global warming and just what we’re doing to the place we call home.

There is no doubt that it’s getting hotter. Life on this funny little planet is threatened with rising sea levels, higher temperatures and more unpredictable weather systems. But why and to what extent is really in some doubt. I’ve spent the last hour searching Google for global warming facts and the only fact I am now sure of is that everyone who writes on the subject has a different opinion. Many also have drums to bang. I’m sure the scientists at the American Petroleum Institute are proud of their research and take it very seriously, but is it really going to be as objective as an independent academic study? By the same token could Greenpeace or Friends of the Earth similarly be accused of cherry picking the bits of research that back up their campaigning objectives? Probably.

It also seems to be true that some of the warming is due to the fact that on the big scale we are still coming out of the last ice age. There are plenty of scientists looking at CO2 levels from core samples and the like, who see nothing out of the ordinary, except maybe the warming is happening a little faster that 100 or so years ago. Can we fight nature then? Very doubtful. I hardly need to point out that nature is massive do I?

So what can we do to help save the environment? Recycle maybe? I used to recycle everything. Really seriously and passionately. Now though I’m more convinced by the re-use and repair argument. My newspapers get re-used as litter tray liners. It saves me buying the ludicrously priced plastic ones from the supermarket and saves the little bit of oil that went into their production. My supermarket carrier bags get re-used as bin liners. I have a lovely comfy pair of leather slippers that have perfect uppers but were worm out on the soles, so I went to Woolworth and bought some new soles. Glued them on and I’ll get another couple of years out of them easy. Saves me a few quid and the power consumed in making me a new pair of slippers has been saved.

Anyone over 30 will probably remember when you could take your lemonade bottles back to the shop from which you bought them and receive a refund. It was only 2p but take back five bottles and you had 10p. When I was a small boy 10p bought you 2 Mars bars, so we actually hunted out bottles to return for sweets. We all used to have a milkman deliver out milk. You’d leave your empty bottles out and he’d take them away, leave you some full ones and the empties were cleaned and filled with milk for the next delivery. I know that the plastic containers we buy our milk in now say ‘”Recyclable” but I bet the majority of you just chuck them in the bin don’t you? If you do they simply go off to the landfill with all of your other rubbish.

What about recycling bottles and glass? The primary reason for recycling is surely to conserve natural resources. But isn’t glass made out of sand? Are we about to run out of sand? According to Virtual Globe, in the region south of the Sahara Desert, 1.5 million hectares of land turn into desert every year. I have absolutely no idea how big a hectare is, but a million and a half of them must cover quite an area. To melt bottles down and make them into new bottles takes energy. It is two processes and uses more energy than just making new bottles from all the sand we have laying around. You see my point? But if all 1 litre bottles were the same size and shape, we could return them to a central place for re-use. What was a bottle of Pepsi last week could be a bottle of fabric conditioner next. I am aware that increasingly imaginative uses are being found for old bottles – ground down a little they make an excellent, hard wearing road surface of all things and this also is the direction we should be going in.

I have low energy light bulbs in all my light sockets, and I never leave my television or PC on standby. Taking measures to reduce electricity consumption is probably the most effective way for all of us to prevent unnecessary discharge of greenhouse gas. Electricity isn’t stored anywhere, it is generated as and when it is required. So by turning the TV off if you’re not watching it you instantly reduce the amount of electricity that needs to be generated. It’s also better for your brain – read a book or a newspaper instead, maybe call your mum. (Hello mum, I’ll phone in the week).

The second most effective way to make a difference is to think about your car a bit more. Do you really need to drive to the corner shop? Can’t your fat kids walk to school for a change? We are slaves to the motor car. Remember those idiots following petrol tankers up and down the motorways during the fuel protests a few years ago? Did that strike anyone else as just bizarre? Using scarce, expensive petrol to follow a tanker so that you could replace the fuel used err following a fuel tanker.
When did you last check your tyre pressure? Properly inflated tyres will last 20-50% longer than under-inflated ones (precise statistics are impossible to find that’s just the most common range I’ve seen). As about 100,000 tyres a day get discarded in this country, most going to landfill, that could make a huge difference. It will also reduce your petrol consumption by 5%. That’ll save you a few quid and if we all had our tyres at the correct pressure it would conserve hundreds of thousands of litres of petrol a day. You’d be sticking it up the petrol companies as well who have all recently announced obscene profits. That’s why there is no co-ordinated government information campaign about saving petrol. Big profits equal big tax revenues.

And therein lies the real problem with environmentalism. It gets in the way of business interests and the creation of wealth for chief executives and their shareholders. One of the criticisms of both the peace and environmental movements 15 years ago was that they were full of Marxists wanting to bring down capitalism. Now the popular press and governments will say they are full of anti-globalisation protesters and anarchists like it is somehow a bad thing to hold an alternative point of view. I’m certainly not going to argue the case for and against capitalism and I’m not totally against it by any means.

So what, as Lenin once asked, is to be done?

There’s an old saying - all things in moderation. BP and Shell recently announced combined profits of £18 billion for the previous 12 months. That’s £570.78 profit every second of every hour of every day of the year. Remember them telling us that it was taxation that made petrol so expensive at the pump? Still believe them? Would say, £9 billion not be enough for them? Then they could spend the other £9 billion researching alternative fuels. These alternative fuels could still be sold for a profit I’m sure. That’s not so unreasonable is it?

The long awaited implementation of the Kyoto Convention on Climate Change received more press coverage than it (possibly) deserved. It is certainly a worthy agreement, as the countries signed up produce about 55% of the ‘greenhouse gasses’ presently released into the atmosphere. But the US and Australia haven’t bothered as it would be too expensive for their economies. China, India and other similarly developing countries are excluded. And I believe quite correctly. What right do those of us in the ‘developed’ world have to turn round to developing nations and say “Sorry guys, but we’ve messed things up really badly over the last few years, but you are the ones who have to pay”? It’s not really on is it?

The simple measures I’ve spoken about above would if we all acted, slow down global warming more than any global treaty could hope to. But there seems to be no will amongst governments to either provide low energy appliances at a reduced cost, publicise their importance and their simplicity or take on the major corporations who genuinely have the power to make significant changes. In two generations time our grandchildren will be turning to us and saying, screaming even “You had all the facts and you did nothing!!” What will we say in reply?

Billie has a new spot to watch over me from while I'm at the 'puter. She should be out in the fresh air like Will.

Another towering inferno?

The BBC are reporting that a huge tower block in Taiwan is ablaze. I wonder if it is steel and concrete? I wonder if it will collapse?

Is it just me or does this chap appear to be scratching his snowballs?

More ducking and dodging

Back to Teflon Tony and the revelations earlier this week that the legal advice over the invasion of Iraq may not have been quite as unequivocal as we have been led to believe.

Tony Blair has rejected calls for the publication of advice on the legality of the Iraq war amid growing calls for an investigation.

The rumours going around at the moment can only harm the government’s already weakened credibility. How can they possibly not want to disprove stories like

In a book published this week, Philippe Sands QC, a member of Cherie Blair's Matrix Chambers, says Lord Goldsmith warned Tony Blair on 7 March 2003 that the Iraq war could be illegal without a second UN resolution sanctioning military action.

I’m not a legal expert by any means. I haven’t seen the papers and know no more than the next person, but surely if the legal advice clearly and unambiguously stated that the invasion of Iraq was perfectly acceptable (from a legal point of view anyway) what has Bliar got to fear from its publication? Would that not instantly end all this doubt and speculation, forcing people like me to shut up? The government were quick enough to publish the similarly ‘confidential’ legal advice into Charles’ marriage, and nobody really cares about that do they? So come on Tony, publish and be damned. What have you got to hide?

I feel sick....

Oh lordy lord. I agree with President Bush. He said in Brussels on Tuesday that he has "deep concern" about European plans to lift an arms embargo on China.

If this story is true then I think we should all share his concern.

Zimbabwe has received a large consignment of arms from China and recalled all reservists ahead of a general election on 31 March, prompting fears that the army is planning to stage a coup in the event of a poll defeat for President Robert Mugabe.

Just before Zimbabwe's last presidential election in 2002, the commander of the defence forces, Constantine Chiwengwa, and his predecessor, Vitalis Zvinavashe, warned that the army would stage a coup if Mr Mugabe were voted out of power in favour of his main opponent, Morgan Tsvangirai. Mr Chiwenga and other senior generals have since repeated these warnings.

Isn’t it funny the European leaders wanting to resume the selling of weapons to China after all their bluster over Iraq? And Mr Bliar, the guardian of the world’s oppressed, enemy of dictators supporting it is even stranger. China is hardly a model democracy is it? One is almost forced to believe that he interests of the arms industry are being put ahead of any genuine concern for human rights and the spread of freedom.

Maybe Mr Bush’s real problem is that the Chinese want to buy European weapons not U.S. weapons?

The limit of credibility?

I’m not even going to comment on this story. I think the contradiction is self evident.

Not enough evidence to charge marine in point-blank Fallujah shooting

WASHINGTON (AFP) - A US marine, captured on film killing a wounded Iraqi at point blank range during November's assault on Fallujah, will not be formally charged due to lack of evidence.

The November 13 shooting occurred during a search of a mosque in a widely broadcast incident that sparked worldwide outrage and was described by the International Committee of the Red Cross as a demonstration of "utter contempt for humanity." In the incident, a trooper raised his rifle and shot point blank at an apparently unarmed, wounded Iraqi who was slumped against one of the mosque walls, in footage captured by an embedded cameraman working for the NBC network.

Although the insurgents were found to be unarmed, investigators said the one the Marine believed he had seen moving could have been reaching for a weapon. The rifleman was withdrawn from combat pending the results of the investigation, but the graphic footage enraged many, months after the scandal over US troops' abuse of inmates at the Abu Ghraib prison. CBS News said Wednesday it had learned that military investigators had concluded insufficient evidence existed to formally charge the marine. The raid on Fallujah, part of an attempt at reclaiming key lawless enclaves across the country ahead of January elections, has been the largest military operation in Iraq since the March 2003.

Bliar lied – OFFICIAL

It’s been quite a day for Iraq stories. The US military has been carrying out raids in the western Iraqi province of Anbar in a crackdown on insurgents. The civil war continued, with the US having to launch another fairly major offensive against ‘insurgents’. Of course they’re not insurgents to many of the people of Iraq, but freedom fighters. I can do no better than quote Seymour Hersh on this subject.

Let's all forget this word “insurgency”. It's one of the most misleading words of all. Insurgency assumes that we had gone to Iraq and won the war and a group of disgruntled people began to operate against us and we then had to do counter-action against them. That would be an insurgency. We are fighting the people we started the war against. We are fighting the Ba'athists plus nationalists. We are fighting the very people that started -- they only choose to fight in different time spans than we want them to, in different places. We took Baghdad easily. It wasn't because be won. We took Baghdad because they pulled back and let us take it and decided to fight a war that had been pre-planned that they're very actively fighting. The frightening thing about it is, we have no intelligence. Maybe it's -- it's -- it is frightening, we have no intelligence about what they're doing. A year-and-a-half ago, we're up against two and three-man teams. We estimated the cells operating against us were two and three people, that we could not penetrate. As of now, we still don't know what's coming next. There are 10, 15-man groups. They have terrific communications.

Then, just to prove that the UK army can be as insensitive as the US (not all of it though obviously) Two British soldiers have been found guilty at a court martial of charges relating to abusing Iraqi prisoners. This is just a dreadful. What were they thinking? The pictures and the trial outcome will be broadcast across Iraq and could lead to revenge attacks. When you’re original motive for war turns out to be a sham and you start using human rights as your justification then you have to be whiter than white. It’s especially sad as our troops had enjoyed a good reputation – we started well with Colonel Tim Collins’ speech on the eve of the invasion asking our soldiers to be “ferocious in battle and magnanimous in victory”. Such a shame so much work has been undone.

The biggest story of the day has to be this one though. Important new revelations have emerged on the legality of the war against Iraq which overthrew Saddam. This blows the whole scam out of the water. It seems that the attorney general, Lord Goldsmith, warned less than two weeks before the invasion of Iraq that military action could be ruled illegal. The legal opinion quoted by Bliar in the House of Commons was not written by the government’s legal advisers at all but by a Downing Street team. Surely Bliar’s days are numbered now? He has to resign doesn’t he? Lying to the country, Parliament and even his own cabinet. Watching the headline’s though, none of the UK’s major news channels are leading with the story. Have I missed something? Have we been taken over by Stepford News? The lord chancellor has also today stated that Charles and Camilla’s wedding is legal. I hope they ask for a second opinion.

© Andy Singer

Hypocrisy update

I’ve previously had cause to moan about the crackerjacks at Christian Voice. They’re in the news again today.

A cancer charity has refused a donation from Jerry Springer - The Opera after a religious group threatened to protest.

What a disgraceful act. This is how the Mafia behave not ‘christians’. My father was looked after by a similar cancer care charity prior to his death. The people who do that work are heroes. Saints if you will. To deprive a charity of much needed money in this way is utter hypocrisy. I hope Christian voice see the error of their ways and offer to make up the money themselves. But of course they won’t because they don’t see the harm they are doing. They are self appointed moral fascists. They should burn in hell for this.

All the best freaks are here

This is a headline you don’t see everyday.

Op to remove baby's second head

Doctors have operated successfully to remove a second head from a 10-month-old baby. Manar Maged was originally one of conjoined identical twins, but her sister failed to develop in the womb.

Kid could have made a fortune in a fair. Or as the school nurse at South Park elementary school (thanks Muzz).

Ken, the Pope and condoms

Over in the UK at the moment, rather than report any real news like the further erosion of our civil liberties, the media are banging on about the London Mayor, Ken Livingstone. The London Evening Standard, part of the Mail group of newspapers (right wing bigots who think we still have an empire and a place in the world; you know the sort) hate Ken. They’ve been hassling him for years. They doorstep him, their journalists follow him around, trying to catch him out. They struck gold a while ago when, after a party to celebrate the 20th anniversary of Chris Smith ‘coming out’ and becoming the first openly gay MP, Ken said a Standard reporter was “like a concentration camp guard, just doing it for the money”. The journalist was Jewish so out come the predictable accusations of anti-semiticism that are rolled out whenever anyone of the Jewish faith feels aggrieved about anything. It seems that other news has to take a back seat as various commentators’ debate whether Ken should or should not apologise. He’s refusing to and rightly so if you ask me.

So isn’t it odd that this story is tucked away on the BBC News website rather than given the prominence Ken is receiving. Pope likens abortion to Holocaust. The Pope writes that both abortion and the mass murder of six million Jews came about as a result of people usurping the "law of God" beneath the guise of democracy. So democracy is a bad thing? Genocide is on the same moral level as a woman exercising her rights over her own body? Can the catholic church really make a moral call here when its stance on condoms is leading directly to the spread of AIDS and the deaths of thousands in Africa? Can I offend any more religious groups in this post?

Not tonight.

Wedding Present

According to my friend Comhracbas, Camilla Parker Bowles is very happy to be getting wed but says she has turned down Prince Philip's offer of a free weekend in Paris with a car and driver.

Bloggers of the world.........

Tomorrow (Tuesday) may, or may not, be a day of global blogging action organised by the Committee to Protect Bloggers. The subject of tomorrow’s protest is the detention by the Iranian government of Mojtaba Saminejad and Arash Sigarchi, two Iranian bloggers. Freedom of speech and expression is something we take for granted here in the ‘free’ west and it is important that we defend it by any means necessary.

Blogging is hot news at the moment. There is a growing movement in the mainstream western media to discredit blogs and those of us who write them. This is especially true in the US where freedom of speech is probably the most under threat thanks to the chimp’s ‘Patriot’ Act. (By the way; welcome to Europe, George. Please try not to start a war while you're here) Blogs you will be told are one sided. They are biased and have agendas that run contrary to the ‘mainstream’ non-biased media organisations. But the truth is of course, we all have agendas and motives. I have at least one, as do BBC News. Fox News certainly do, as do The Independent, The Daily Telegraph, The NY Times etc. So what? If you don’t question the information you are fed, all of the information you are fed you deserve to live in ignorance and darkness. And believe me you will.

Blogs should not be seen as contrary to the mainstream media but complimentary to it. The more sources you have for your information, the more you will think. The more you think, the more questions you ask. The more questions you ask the LESS the powers that be will get away with their sound bites and their fluff.

So as I’ve been writing this I’ve been thinking about the Committee to Protect Bloggers. An American based blog having a pop at Iran. I’ve previously been critical of the present demonisation of Iran by the US authorities. Are the blogging community being played at their own game? Is this a clever attempt to fight fire with fire? Or has my cynicism reached critical mass? I really don’t know. But I’m asking the questions.

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence or insanity to anyone... but they've always worked for me

The words of Hunter S Thompson who has shot himself at his home in Colorado.

Most famous for the Fear and Loathing books, it was for his journalism notably in Rolling Stone that I loved him best. He was brutally and refreshingly honest, calling things as he saw them. For example he had this to say about Hubert Humphrey, LBJ’s Vice President…

"There is no way to grasp what a shallow, contemptible and hopelessly dishonest old hack Hubert Humphrey is until you've followed him around for a while."

You get a splendid insight into his mind during that period in the book Fear and Loathing in America: The Brutal Odyssey of an Outlaw Journalist 1968-1976, a collection of his private correspondence from those prime years while he was writing F&L in Las Vegas and following the 1972 US election campaign.

Many will say that by the 80’s he was a burned out shell of his former self, but I’ve been reading his recent columns for ESPN the US sports network and the genius was still there. It would be fitting to see Shotgun Golf made an Olympic sport in his memory.

Raise your glasses.

Iran Update

Fireworks night will be in June this year.

SCOTT RITTER SAYS U.S. PLANS JUNE ATTACK ON IRAN, ‘COOKED’ JAN. 30 IRAQI ELECTION RESULTS
By Mark Jensen

United for Peace of Pierce County (WA)
February 19, 2005

Scott Ritter, appearing with journalist Dahr Jamail yesterday in Washington State, dropped two shocking bombshells in a talk delivered to a packed house in Olympia’s Capitol Theater. The ex-Marine turned UNSCOM weapons inspector said that George W. Bush has "signed off" on plans to bomb Iran in June 2005, and claimed the U.S. manipulated the results of the recent Jan. 30 elections in Iraq.

Olympians like to call the Capitol Theater "historic," but it's doubtful whether the eighty-year-old edifice has ever been the scene of more portentous revelations.

The principal theme of Scott Ritter's talk was Americans’ duty to protect the U.S. Constitution by taking action to bring an end to the illegal war in Iraq. But in passing, the former UNSCOM weapons inspector stunned his listeners with two pronouncements. Ritter said plans for a June attack on Iran have been submitted to President George W. Bush, and that the president has approved them. He also asserted that knowledgeable sources say U.S. officials "cooked" the results of the Jan. 30 elections in Iraq.

On Iran, Ritter said that President George W. Bush has received and signed off on orders for an aerial attack on Iran planned for June 2005. Its purported goal is the destruction of Iran’s alleged program to develop nuclear weapons, but Ritter said neoconservatives in the administration also expected that the attack would set in motion a chain of events leading to regime change in the oil-rich nation of 70 million -- a possibility Ritter regards with the greatest skepticism.

The former Marine also said that the Jan. 30 elections, which George W. Bush has called "a turning point in the history of Iraq, a milestone in the advance of freedom," were not so free after all. Ritter said that U.S. authorities in Iraq had manipulated the results in order to reduce the percentage of the vote received by the United Iraqi Alliance from 56% to 48%.

Asked by UFPPC's Ted Nation about this shocker, Ritter said an official involved in the manipulation was the source, and that this would soon be reported by a Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist in a major metropolitan magazine -- an obvious allusion to New Yorker reporter Seymour M. Hersh.

On Jan. 17, the New Yorker posted an article by Hersh entitled The Coming Wars (New Yorker, January 24-31, 2005). In it, the well-known investigative journalist claimed that for the Bush administration, "The next strategic target [is] Iran." Hersh also reported that "The Administration has been conducting secret reconnaissance missions inside Iran at least since last summer." According to Hersh, "Defense Department civilians, under the leadership of Douglas Feith, have been working with Israeli planners and consultants to develop and refine potential nuclear, chemical-weapons, and missile targets inside Iran. . . . Strategists at the headquarters of the U.S. Central Command, in Tampa, Florida, have been asked to revise the military’s war plan, providing for a maximum ground and air invasion of Iran. . . . The hawks in the Administration believe that it will soon become clear that the Europeans’ negotiated approach [to Iran] cannot succeed, and that at that time the Administration will act."

Scott Ritter said that although the peace movement failed to stop the war in Iraq, it had a chance to stop the expansion of the war to other nations like Iran and Syria. He held up the specter of a day when the Iraq war might be remembered as a relatively minor event that preceded an even greater conflagration.

Scott Ritter's talk was the culmination of a long evening devoted to discussion of Iraq and U.S. foreign policy. Before Ritter spoke, Dahr Jamail narrated a slide show on Iraq focusing on Fallujah. He showed more than a hundred vivid photographs taken in Iraq, mostly by himself. Many of them showed the horrific slaughter of civilians.

Dahr Jamail argued that U.S. mainstream media sources are complicit in the war and help sustain support for it by deliberately downplaying the truth about the devastation and death it is causing.

Jamail was, until recently, one of the few unembedded journalists in Iraq and one of the only independent ones. His reports have gained a substantial following and are available online at dahrjamailiraq.com.

Friday evening's event in Olympia was sponsored by South Puget Sound Community College's Student Activities Board, Veterans for Peace, 100 Thousand and Counting, Olympia Movement for Justice & Peace, and United for Peace of Pierce County.

The FA Cr@p

So my belov’d Tottenham could only manage a 1-1 draw against Nottingham Forest who are second from bottom of Division 2 (I will not buy into this Championship and League 1 nonsense). Now we have to go up there on 2nd March for the replay. (I wonder if the club half expected this as ticket and travel details are already on the website barely 90 minutes after the final whistle.)
The prospect of a replay fills me with dread as our away form has been shocking this season. In 13 matches at the Lane, we’ve managed to score an impressive 25 goals, though we have conceded a less than impressive 19. Away from N17 we’ve only scored 8 and conceded 11. Forest will want to stuff us for the 1991 final when we beat them thanks to a Des Walker own goal. It’s going to be a tough match.
The Spurs legend is that we win things when the year ends in a 1, and we’ve been good at it; FA Cup in 1901, 1921, 1961, 1981 & 1991 (as well as 1962, 1967 & 1982). Our only two championships have been 1951 and 1961. I only hope the year doesn’t have to start with a 1 as well or it will be 7,995 years before we get another trophy.

It is scant consolation that Chelski are out having gone down 1-0 at Newcastle. Is Jose Mourinho the great tactician everyone thinks he is? He made 3 substitutions at half time, so when Wayne Bridge was stretchered off early into the second half (suspected broken ankle) they were forced to play with 10. By the 80th minute Damien Duff was hobbling like a lame cart horse and Gallas was looking less than 100%. On Wednesday Chelski have to play Barcelona at the Nou Camp, and the Carling Cup final is a week today. I still can’t see anyone beating them to the Premiership title, but they certainly will not be winning a foursome this year.

Citizens, but not united

A group of pro-Bush nut jobs called Citizens United have been in the news this week for the huge billboards they have erected close to where the Oscar ceremony will be held a week from today. It’s actually quite clever for Bush supporters, ironically ‘thanking’ the liberal majority in Tinsel Town for the re-election of the chimp George.

The billboard was vandalised and I think the vandals made it much funnier. Sadly Citizens United anticipated this and it was repaired very quickly. Not quick enough though!!

billboard

All the news

One of the downsides of having had Sky installed in my new flat is the news channels. I’m a current affairs junkie. I think that I can handle 11 news channels, that I’m in control - I can turn them off anytime. But I’ll just watch to the next break first. Then I’ll go to bed. Yeah, it’s easy. I can give them up anytime. I just don’t want to yet.

So, I’ve had the Fox News Channel (FNC) on for a couple of hours now. I can feel an aneurysm forming, throbbing inside my skull, but I can’t turn it off. If you’ve never watched FNC (you lucky, lucky person) it is basically the Republican news channel. Every story is a jingoistic, flag waving celebration of the American way as defined and approved by George W Bush. It’s horrid really yet disturbingly addictive.

They hate the United Nations at Fox. Hate it big time. The UN, you will recall, declared that the invasion of Iraq contravened international law. Didn't go down well. I’ll be the first to admit that there is a lot wrong with the UN, though a lot less than is wrong with Fox. There are serious questions about the probity of the Oil for Food programme. There are also the allegations, growing in number and substance about the conduct of UN troops in Africa and the lid could soon blow on a huge sex scandal. They’re hot on morality at Fox, so it's a major story.

It’s odd then that I’ve not hear a peep about this story. It concerns a paedophile and male prostitution ring and it appears to go to the heart of Bush’s Republican party. I probably just missed their in depth, fair and balanced reporting of it. I was in the bathroom or making my supper. I better watch another hour just to make sure.

It had to happen.....

9/11.

I’ve not mentioned it so far have I? But I’m a natural cynic. I don’t really believe anything I’m told by any ‘official’ source be it the UK government, the US government or any other crack-pot organisation with sinister motives.

This week in Madrid something happened that has got me a-thinking again. A steel and concrete building caught fire and it burned for nearly two days. But it didn’t collapse. That’s because steel and concrete buildings are shockingly strong. Hugely strong. The Twin Towers were made of steel and concrete. But as we all know they did collapse. The twin towers were a lot bigger of course than the Madrid building so the added weight could be a factor, but what about WTC 7 which also collapsed? It was steel and concrete. It was a very similar size to the Madrid building. It wasn't hit by a 737. There wasn't much of a fire. But it came down anyway. Do you see the problem? Something is wrong somewhere. The Twin Towers and WTC 7 remain the only steel and concrete buildings ever to have collapsed anywhere.

The official line is of course that the inferno caused by the burning jet fuel melted the steel. The planes smashed in, exploded and vaporised everything. But was it an inferno? Look at the picture below (click it and you'll get a larger version). It is clearly of the hole left by the 737 entering one of the towers, but look to the right of the picture and you can see a woman standing at the edge of the hole. There’s a chap on the left so she isn’t just a lucky one-off. They survived the initial impact, and there isn’t much evidence of an inferno is there?

Steel melts at about 2,500 - 3,000 F. A director at Underwriters Laboratories, a very experienced investigator and metallurgist stated that the fires at the WTC were nowhere near that hot. And he got sacked questioning the official line.

Conspiracy theories are like living organisms in that they cannot survive on their own. They need air and food and water. These are provided by deceptions, half-truths and unanswered questions. Even I struggle to accept some of the wilder 9/11 theories, but there are a huge number of things that just do not tally.
Why did Bush carry on reading to a class of school kids despite being told America was under attack? How did he know he was safe?
Why did Condoleeza Rice tell her friend Willie Brown the Mayor of San Francisco not to fly to New York the day before 9/11?
Why did she, a devout Christian, refuse to testify under oath before the 9/11 Commission?
How come the 19 suspects got to be named so quickly despite none of them being on any of the passenger lists?
Wasn’t it a stroke of luck that despite the ‘inferno’ one of the hijacker’s passport was found in the rubble?
Where was the US Air Force?
Why did the media headlines all say ‘Terrorists Attack US’ not ‘Saudi Terrorists Attack US’? You think if the 19 had been North Korean or Iraqi that fact would have been missed by the headline writers?
Why did the SEC drop the investigation into unusual trading on the NYSE in the days leading up to the attack?
Where are the aircraft’s Black Boxes?
There are dozens of other questions. Do some digging yourself. This is a good place to begin.

One of the wilder stories circulating about Sept 11, and one that has attracted something of a cult following amongst conspiracy buffs is that it was carried out by 19 fanatical Arab hijackers, masterminded by an evil genius named Osama bin Laden, with no apparent motivation other than that they "hate our freedoms."

Never a group of people to be bothered by facts, the perpetrators of this cartoon fantasy have constructed an elaborately woven web of delusions and unsubstantiated hearsay in order to promote this garbage across the internet and the media to the extent that a number of otherwise rational people have actually fallen under its spell.

Isn’t that a great start?

You can stop reading if you start to feel sick as the realisation slowly creeps over you that a lot of people are telling a lot of lies. But that will pass. Then you’ll just feel angry. What you do with that anger is your own business.

WTC 

Blox Forever

It's ages since I posted a link to a game so here's a quality one to make up. It's Blox Forever and it's a cracker.

Oliver Postgate

Mr Postgate is a hero of mine. He is a legend. He created Bagpuss. And not only Bagpuss but also Ivor the Engine, Noggin the Nog, The Pogles, Pogles’ Wood and The Clangers. You will understand my love for the man.

I stumbled onto his website today. It’s marvellous. Far from being a repository for treasured TV memories (which are there if you look) it is a place where he puts up his own essays on the state of the world as he sees it. The most recent one is History is Bunk! It covers the Cold War arms race, Bush, Blair and Iraq – all favourite subjects of mine. Have a read.

This is the spirit

My hunting rant, and in particular the aside about the paltry 9 hours debating time given to the invasion of Iraq got me thinking about how the Parliamentary system is being slyly circumvented by Mr Bliar as his style of government becomes more presidential and less consensual. Dodgy dossiers and half-truths shrouded by improvable ‘national security’ concerns have replaced genuine heart felt rhetoric. The great orators of the past Lord John Russell, C J Fox, Edmund Burke to name but a few, must look down (or up) and sigh with longing for the days when the House of Commons meant something real and tangible in the running of the nation.

Of course the greatest speaker in modern times must be Churchill. His speeches are available from many sources – I like The Churchill Society and The Churchill Centre. As an antidote to Bliar’s nonsensical ‘clear indications of the intent to restart weapons programmes’ or ‘The WMD are there – they are just hidden or were moved out of the country prior to the invasion’, have a read of this….

I am a child of the House of Commons. I was brought up in my father's house to believe in democracy. Trust the people - that was his message....I cannot help reflecting that if my father had been American and my mother British, instead of the other way around, I might have got here on my own....I owe my advancement entirely to the House of Commons, whose servant I am. In my country, as in yours, public men are proud to be the servants of the State and would be ashamed to be its masters.

from a speech made to a Joint Session of the American Congress, December 26, 1941 soon after the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor. Politicians as servants of the state (meaning the people). How alien a concept is that to Mr Bliar? Two million people took to the streets of the UK on 15th February 2003 in order to protest at the coming invasion of Iraq. And he ignored us all. Now with an election approaching he has the audacity to talk about re-engaging the British public in political debate. The public, he believes, have become cynical with politicians. No sh1t Sherlock. And whose fault is that?

Possibly Churchill's famous speech was given in the Commons on 4th June 1940 after the Dunkirk rescue, as a shocked nation began to realise the scale of what was to come in a war which was just beginning

I have, myself, full confidence that if all do their duty, if nothing is neglected, and if the best arrangements are made, as they are being made, we shall prove ourselves once again able to defend our Island home, to ride out the storm of war, and to outlive the menace of tyranny, if necessary for years, if necessary alone. At any rate, that is what we are going to try to do. That is the resolve of His Majesty's Government-every man of them. That is the will of Parliament and the nation. The British Empire and the French Republic, linked together in their cause and in their need, will defend to the death their native soil, aiding each other like good comrades to the utmost of their strength. Even though large tracts of Europe and many old and famous States have fallen or may fall into the grip of the Gestapo and all the odious apparatus of Nazi rule, we shall not flag or fail. We shall go on to the end, we shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our Island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender, and even if, which I do not for a moment believe, this Island or a large part of it were subjugated and starving, then our Empire beyond the seas, armed and guarded by the British Fleet, would carry on the struggle, until, in God's good time, the New World, with all its power and might, steps forth to the rescue and the liberation of the old.

Doesn't that bring tears to the eyes even now? Doesn't it make you swell with pride? Isn’t that the passion and commitment we should demand from our leaders if they are to take us into a war?

Artchive

I want to plug this website for no other reason than it is lovely and beautiful and I get my desktops from it. The site is Mark Harden’s Artchive and it contains very high quality reproductions of a vast selection of works by artists from Escher to Vermeer, Whistler to Caneletto. I presently have William Blake’s Ancient of Days on my work PC, and Raphael’s fresco The School of Athens on my home PC.

If you’re in London, it’s worth a trip to the National Gallery just to see Raphael’s Crucifixion with Saints Mary Virgin, Mary Magdalen, John and Jerome. I must have lost an hour the first time I saw it. It is astonishing. You could then drop into the V & A where they have his cartoons for the tapestry series depicting scenes from the lives of the Apostles. After that take a walk up the river (or along the bank for those of you struggling with the whole walking on water thing) to the Tate where they are hosting an exhibition of Turner, Whistler & Monet until 15th May. It’ll cost you £10 and you should pre-book, but it’s a very small price to pay to see so many works from three of the nineteenth century’s greatest artists.

Tally ho, now just go away

Fox hunting has been illegal for about an hour.

Good.

At long last a Labour manifesto commitment that dates back to 1997 has been fulfilled. Bliar should have done it in his first session of parliament; then the whole thing would have been forgotten about by the 2001 election let alone now. But he didn’t have the balls to take on the establishment then, in the same way he hasn’t really had the balls to implement any major reforms of the House of Lords. He’s only pushed the ban through now because so many core Labour supporters have left the party or, like myself sworn never to vote Labour again while Bliar is leader. How can anyone vote for the man who lied to Parliament and lied to the people in order to take the country into an illegal, immoral, unjustifiable war? (As an aside the invasion of Iraq was debated in the Commons for 9 hours. Hunting has had 252 hours. Priorities?)

Both sides of the hunting debate talk a lot of crap. The pro’s just lie. There are a myriad of modern ways to protect farms against foxes from chemical scents to ultrasonic horns. Any farmer that loses an animal to a fox is too lazy, too tight or too ignorant to really care.

On the anti side - I wish they would just be honest and say with huge pride “Yes, it is all about class you vile stains.” I grew up in a rural area and hunts aren’t an integral part of the community, loved by all and providing lots of local jobs. They are an arrogant, self serving clique of people with pretensions of grandeur. They have no regard for anyone or anything other than themselves. A friend of mine was constantly having to rebuild the fences around his land after the hunt tore through his private property without permission and without any offer of recompense. They considered themselves part of the ruling class and so beyond the laws and standards of conduct that govern you and I.

The ‘Countryside Alliance’ demonstrations in Westminster last autumn provided some of the funniest television I have ever watched. They simply could not understand in the tiniest of ways that the tide had turned. They were just apoplectic with impotent rage that someone had dared meddle with their way of life. They were all muttering about their contributions to the rural economy and their human rights as if we’d all suddenly say - ‘Oh go on then, carry on with your quaint, barbaric tradition’. The arguments they put forward about tradition and way of life are exactly the same as those used by slave traders prior to slavery being abolished. Or by the pro hanging brigade. But we evolve as a society, our values change and we should be proud of that. I don’t think that one single person amongst them, not one, really grasps that there is a genuine desire amongst the majority of people in the UK to see hunting banned. Now they are all talking darkly of breaking the law because they have been forced to. So what of the single mum ‘forced’ to steal to support her kids because state benefits are so meagre. Is that now OK? Can we all only follow the laws we think are just? Bring it on.

And where were these people when ‘we’ were protesting against the Poll Tax, Section 28, pit closures or the rise of the far right? Where is their concern for the human rights of the 100,000 miners who lost their jobs under Thatcher? They don’t give a f**k. But mess with their Saturday afternoon out and it’s a national disgrace. Michael Howard says he will lock up 30,000 more people if he becomes PM. I know where he can start.

Uncle Sam Needs You (to chill out a little)

The US army has what 130,000 odd troops in Iraq? And strangely, there isn‘t a massive queue of people wanting to join them. Army recruitment and re-enlistment in the US is now so low that the draft is on the cards again.

But they‘re not all dumb in the Pentagon. How‘s this for a recruitment poster? American soldiers traumatised by fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan are to be offered the drug ecstasy to help free them of flashbacks and recurring nightmares. It’s a big price to pay though.

You're all my besht mates

Gotta love the Costcutter by me. Stella’s 99p a tin. At that price it’s stupid not to.
Do you think on pay-day I should go down there, buy a van load and build a model Windsor Castle in my garden? Could be a money spinner? Get some t-shirts & badges made - “I’ve seen the Stella Castle at Phil’s”. Tourists plague Windsor all year round, half of them wouldn’t know the genuine castle from a lager inspired folly.

On the subject of Windsor Castle I notice that Charlie is not going to have his wedding there after all, as it would be a big hassle to get a wedding licence for the event. Excuse me being cynical, but when a civil wedding licence is granted for a place it’s not on a one off basis, it lasts for 3 years. Some jobs-worth at the castle has realised that once the licence is granted, the castle would be swamped by wedding requests from jumped up plebs with over-inflated senses of their own importance and Windsor has plenty of them believe me. This would lead to a shed load of bad royal PR from them saying no all the time. Sound closer to the truth? The trouble is of course, that there are some assets which the queen owns in her own right, and some that belong to the institution of the Crown. These are paid for by you and me through our tax ££s, and so are therefore I posit, owned in a roundabout way by us. And guess what - Windsor Castle is owned by the Crown, not the queen. I’d write to my MP if I could be bothered.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Update

I have previously mentioned my creeping excitement at the impending Hitchhiker’s film.

You can now view trailers here. And here. (thanks Claire x)

They seem to be cracking on with the post-production. Stephen Fry was still recording his part a few weeks ago. Incidentally, you can hear the Bookclub with Mr Fry on Sunday 6th March at 4.00 on BBC Radio 4. We’ll have to wait until April for the film to be released.

Update update.

There's a review of the film here. My enthusiasm remains undampened.

Ready for your close-up Mr Park?

Isn’t it just lovely, as Hannibal Smith would say, when a plan comes together? This story illustrates that perfectly. A house burglar was caught after a webcam on the owner's computer recorded images of him carrying out the raid.

I’m especially impressed that Mr Grisby set his software up to email the pictures to a webmail account so that when his ‘puter was inevitably stolen he could just give the rozzers the account details. Nice to have a positive webcam story as well so we can all forget about the Leslie Grantham horrors of a year or so ago.

Closure

Just to round off a previous post, the testicle tearing Amanda Monti has been sent to prison for two and a half years.
She said in court "It was never my intention to cause harm to Geoff and the fact that I have caused him injury will live with me forever. I am in no way a violent person." I think the caveat "except when drunk and horny" is missing from her statement.

Silence is golden

When I was a little boy, I remember my granny telling me that if you can’t think of anything nice to say, don’t say anything.

In that spirit, I will not be saying anything about England’s Six Nations match against France yesterday.
I will not talk about the final two ODI’s in South Africa.
I will not mention Wanadoo & BT’s collaborative incompetence that sees me still without a broadband connection at home.
Valentine’s Day.

My Sky installation on Friday was seamless though. Soccer AM are still doing the same jokes as they were 2 years ago when last I watched. They still make me laugh. And Spurs are on a cup run.

Pffft.

Obsession

Firstly can I say I love Star Wars. And Empire and The Return. They are indeed as Kevin Smith says the Holy Trilogy.

But I was disappointed with Phantom Menace and have only half watched Clones. Having seen the trailer for the upcoming Revenge of the Sith it looks like it will be the best one of the new three.

However, I’m not as convinced as this chap. Jeff "sidewalker" Tweiten is already queing on his sofa outside the Pacific Science Center IMAX Theatre in Seattle waiting for it to open. In May.

Jeff, respect to you. I think you’re mad, but good luck.

Priorities

The US just like the UK has a great number of social and economic problems. The US budget deficit is set to pass $427bn in 2005. In 2001, gun violence killed 29,573 Americans. The number of Americans without any form of healthcare has passed 46,000,000. As in the UK, the gap between the rich and the poor is widening at a frightful rate. Religious intolerance is on the rise and as levels of paranoia and fear increase, freedoms and constitutional rights are reducing.

So it’s good to see state legislatures focussing on the real issues in their attempts to make America a better place.

US politicians fed up with catching an eyeful of underwear want to fine those who won't hitch up their trousers.

The Virginia state house has voted to outlaw the trend of wearing trousers so low that underwear hangs over the top.
Delegates said the habit, popular across the US and in other Western countries, was "coarsening" society.

Or maybe not. Nero may have fiddled while Rome burned, but in Virginia they are too busy looking at @rse cracks to see society collapsing.

Kids are sheep

As I drove home last night, Radio 5 were discussing Cup Stacking, which is, it would seem the new ‘craze’ sweeping the UK’s children. The activity involves quickly stacking plastic beakers into pyramids and other shapes. Very quickly. I checked that it wasn’t 1st April, no it’s still February, so it must be real. The kids interviewed on the radio were all very serious. The cups have special non-stick coatings, and holes drilled in them the reduce air drag. There’s even a World Cup. They have to do a ‘cycle stack’, which it says here is

a sequence of stacks combining a 3-6-3 stack, a 6-6 and a 1-10-1 stack, in that order. Stackers conclude the Cycle with cups in a 3-6-3 "down stacked" position.

That’s clear then.

Am I missing something? What evil forces are at work? Is there any more pointless pursuit in the whole world? I suppose it’s more constructive than stealing cars or setting fire to things, other popular childhood activities, but wouldn’t reading a book be better for their tiny minds?

Under 30 minutes

Give helicopters to the Army and see what they do with them.... wasters

Army pilot rap over pizza flight

A lieutenant has been disciplined after using an Army helicopter to deliver a pizza to his girlfriend. The incident on 25 January saw the unnamed officer divert from a routine training flight over Stanford, Norfolk, to take the fast food.

The Ministry of Defence refused to name the officer, from 659 Squadron, or divulge how he was punished. A spokesman said: "The chain of command doesn't condone these sorts of actions. The individuals have been disciplined."

He added: "During a routine low-level training sortie, somebody decided it would be an opportunity to use it for a delivery." The extra cost caused by the diversion is not known.

The pizza was understood to have been delivered to a female officer cadet at an Army range at Thetford, Norfolk. The Ministry of Defence spokesman did not confirm what toppings were on the pizza.

We’ll call it a draw then

I wasn’t planning on mentioning last weekend’s Six Nations, purely because England lost and I’m still not happy. I’m not an expert on English club rugby, but I can’t believe Steve Thompson is the best hooker in the country. His line out throwing was bad during the World Cup, but on Saturday it sank to a new depth. But then I was sent this. A Welsh rugby fan cut off his own testicles to celebrate Wales beating England at rugby. (thanks Mr Pie)

What a splendidly hilarious way to celebrate victory. What will he cut off if Wales win again? Hypothetically of course.

As the sport ball is rolling so to speak, hurrah to Ellen MacArthur, who crossed the line at 10.29 last night to become the fastest person ever to sail single-handed around this big blue/green planet of ours. I grew up on the Isle of Wight so perhaps I should know a bit more about sailing than I actually do, but in truth I don’t know a bilge pump from a bosun’s chair. I do know about sleep though, and according to the BBC she hasn’t slept for more than an hour in one stretch for the whole 71 days. That’s just crazy. I can’t even begin to imagine the horror. Incidentally, I went to school with Mark her project manager, although when I bumped into him with a mutual friend last summer I’m not entirely convinced he remembered me.

And a final sporting comment today, I hope that everyone who watched Match of the Day on Saturday was suitably awed by the natural footballing genius that is Mido. Two goals on debut, and an audacious back-heel when a yard off the ground are new treasured memories. The Lane salutes you.

Moving times

Normal service will, I hope, be resumed later this week, but the lack of posts recently is down to the fact I have spent the last few days moving house. According to one study, moving house is up there with divorce, losing your job or the death of a family member on the stress-o-meter. I think I’ve got away with it lightly then, as I’ve had a fairly pleasant time of it all. It only took 4 and a bit car loads, and the most arduous task was reorganising my bookcases. The ‘and a bit’ car load occurred on Friday night when I boxed up my two cats and moved them. I had to sneak in the back door with their boxes, and I managed to creep up on Will while he slept. No bother. But Billie saw all this occurring, realised it was her turn next and shot off like a greyhound (a fat, not very sprightly greyhound admittedly) and took a deal of catching. Once safely boxed and in the back of my car, the wailing and whining from the pair of them was pitiful. Anyone watching me pass would have assumed I was mad as I kept up a constant refrain of “Shush babies, it won’t be long now.” “Quite now Billie.” “Will, Will, nearly there.” It had no effect of course and the pathetic noises continued until they were unboxed in their new living room. I honestly think they speak a different language.

Looking back the most stressful part of the whole exercise was on Saturday afternoon, when I had to visit Asda to purchase goods in order to fill my bare kitchen cupboards. I’m not a fan of supermarkets at the best of times, and there must have been a million people in Slough’s Asda on Saturday. More in fact. A medieval knight would have been at home in the aisles, jousting with a trolley rather than a lance. People are so rude. It isn’t as if there was a sale on and there was a danger of them running out of beans or bog roll. The chaos was most unnecessary.

I think I have a plan for next time though. For the less able shopper, Asda kindly provide electric wheelchairs with a trolley handily attached to the front. I couldn’t help but notice that everyone (except me of course) got out of the way on these vehicles, politely standing aside. The touch of arthritis I have in my right ankle probably doesn’t yet merit an electrified wheelchair, but as a means of dropping my shopping related stress down to zero I cannot fault it.

Stories from the weird section

Firstly this bizarre tale from WW2.

…Mr Liddell came up with the idea of passing on certain disinformation through double agents working in Germany.

This led the Germans to believe that British soldiers routinely painted one foot blue so they could be identified as being genuine.

The idea was that when the Germans parachuted their own agents into England with one foot painted blue the Home Guard would be able to identify them as spies and either arrest or shoot them on sight.

It’s an idea that could be transposed for Iraq isn’t it. Have all the US and UK troops wear badges saying “Occupying Force”, then they could shoot anyone not wearing a badge as they would obviously be an insurgent. It’s easy really. I should be in charge.

Then there’s this from the Houston Chronicle. (thanks Sexy)

Wife accused of giving man lethal sherry enema.

LAKE JACKSON - Investigators say a Lake Jackson woman caused her husband's death by giving him a sherry enema, leading to alcohol poisoning. The enema caused his blood alcohol level to soar to 0.47 percent — almost six times the legal intoxication limit, a toxicology report showed.

Tammy Jean Warner, 42, was indicted on a charge of negligent homicide. She is also charged with burning the will of her husband, Michael Warner, a month before his death on May 21.

I like the expression ‘lethal sherry enema’. Do you think the Houston Department of Heath provides dosing guidance for the rectal administration of alcoholic beverages? Maybe this should be an action point for their next meeting?

Another one bites the dust......

I’m very saddened by the death of Malcolm Hardee. Many of you will not have heard of him, but he was one of the funniest men ever to grace the comedy stages of this country. Far too dangerous for gutless television producers, he was a legend to anyone with even a passing knowledge of ‘alternative’ comedy of the 70s, 80s and early 90s.

It is possible that he is best known by the public for stealing Freddie Mercury’s 40th birthday cake and giving it to an old people’s home. But Malcolm hated pretence, and the showbiz circuit in London had been buzzing for months about the party, which was to be a lesson in tacky excess. The rage into which Mercury flew would have had Malcolm laughing all the way to the pub. The world needs more people like him not less.

More sport

Remaining on the sporting theme, England play Holland at Villa Park next week as part of their build up to the World Cup qualifiers against Northern Ireland and Azerbaijan in March.

So I thought I’d take a look at the FIFA website and see how the world rankings are looking. Brazil are predictably top with England a respectable 8th. That’s not too bad considering we haven’t won anything since 1966. Republic of Ireland are 12th, Wales are 68th and they’ve never won anything so that’s quite good, but I couldn’t see Scotland. I scrolled back up and had another look. Nothing. So I scrolled down a bit. And there below Bosnia- Herzegovina and Latvia, below even the colossus of world football that is Burkina Faso are Scotland in 86th place. Chin up though lads, you’re still above the Faroe Islands.

Mess with America

Not sure this is entirely legitimate but the New York Times, through Polling Point are running a survey on President Bush’s State of the Union Address which he delivered last night in Washington.

In the socialist spirit of direct action through futile gestures, can I urge you all to take the poll but not to take it too seriously. Tick all the negative boxes. When it asks you for an opinion on the biggest problem facing the USA today, be creative and imaginative. It’s not terrorism, unrestricted gun ownership or global warming, no siree George, it’s flying monkeys. Well, it is in my version of reality.

So go on over and screw with Bush. It’s not like he doesn’t deserve it.

ODI

I can’t help thinking England have been cheated slightly. Yesterday’s 2nd one day international with South Africa is officially a tie, with the scores level on 270 each after the 50 overs. But when Geraint Jones stumped Andrew Hall off Kabir Ali’s last ball of the match, it meant that South Africa were 8 wickets down, compared to England who lost only 5. That’s surely the cricket equivalent of goal difference?

I can feel a stern letter to the ICC brewing.

Phylos and the polymath

Following my teaser a week or so ago, I can now reveal all! Last night I paid my third visit to BBC Radio 4’s Bookclub, and spent a thoroughly splendid 90 minutes in the company of Stephen Fry. I have been as excited as a schoolgirl over this for weeks, and as on Christmas Eve when you’re little I could hardly sleep on Monday night. I also picked up the keys to my new flat on Tuesday so was pretty excited about that as well.

The recording lasted 70 or so minutes, as Stephen is such a eloquent speaker and poor Dymphna, the producer has to edit this down to 30 minutes for broadcast.

The show will be first aired at 4.00pm on Sunday 6th March, with a repeat also at 4.00pm the following Thursday. Do listen.